Simmer & Stir

Chapter 32

Dearest Philip,

I don't know why your phone isn't getting connected or why you still haven't cleared the pending voice messages. It's very unlike you.

Speaking of unlike, I've written this letter which I've given to your folks and also shared a copy with John, in case you contact him. John did inform me that your training was rigorous and that you'd talked to him before leaving and going in deep. I don't know what he meant and I barely cared.

All I cared was to talk to you and to tell you, I was wrong. I assumed you to be the bad guy, the man who broke my trust. You didn't Philip, you never did. You always came through for me.

Every day since I arrived at Three Aces, you have helped me in a way that nobody else had.

I wanted to tell you, you helped me become a confident, charismatic (your charm rubbed on me) girl. You helped me speak my mind and put myself out there in both food and the world.

You, my love, helped me understand, love doesn't mean only smiles and rosy stuff. It also meant heard labor, fighting for one another and sometimes giving up on the love to let it consume you; destroy you so that you relive, rebirth and rediscover the meaning of the word - True love.

My folks told me everything. They told me of your intentions and their meddling.

Don't worry, they are doing fine. No limbs removed, no blood drawn.

You took the fall for them. You took their wrong upon your shoulders when it wasn't even asked of you.

I am sorry, Philip, deeply and terribly for not believing you. For not knowing you well enough to understand, you'd never hurt me even in your worst dreams.

I know I did wrong, Philip.

Please give me a chance, one last to make it alright. To mend us. We were never broken, just bent. Let me straighten us up. Here I am, bent on my knees, hands wrapped together over this letter, telling you how much I love you.

You have been my sun. Always have, always will. I'll always revolve around you, my life would always find its grounding roots, rotating around you.

Even if you don't want me, I would cherish you, with all my heart, all my life.

After all, how can the earth not...

Your and only your

Drama Queen

~

I sat in front of the parchment, watching the paper drink up the glistening ink. This was my redemption letter. The letter that could make or break the deal.

After a whole week of radio silence from Philip, I couldn't take it anymore. My insides melted every day when I couldn't contact him. My mind nagged me to contact him. I wanted to tell him, how much I was wrong. How much I regretted losing him.

It ached to my marrow, every day that passed without talking to Philip. Though I claimed to love Philip, I didn't give him a chance.

"Are you done?" Mrs. Fernandez's voice floated through the kitchen before she emerged.

In my desperate attempt to do over, I drove to Philip's parent's house.

"Done," I whispered to the paper, fluttering it around.

I smiled but the disconsolate state of my heart continued. I was aching in places I didn't know existed in my body. I was desperate beyond redemption. Without hope. Rudderless, I floated into the dark, inky sea of guilt-induced despair.