❝They never cured my pain let alone made me walk on thin ice. ❞
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PAIN. It's not always compulsory to have physical pain and show the world how strong a person is by putting a show of it. It's not always compulsory that whipping marks will be behind my back to let my loved ones tell a tale of mine held between me and the world.
I didn't have any marks that will need an ointment to cure but I do have marks remained forever stained in my soul. I aren't a part of physical abuse and I won't be able to tell you a story about how my father is abusive towards me and my mother neglects me nor can I say that they both are my foster ones.
No. I don't have those kinds of stories stored in my pouch. I have a story about how the society, my parents and my neighbors ushered me with mental torment.
The numerous ways of handling the picture of a perfect family is a tiresome work. The fake smile and laugh through teeth bruised my cheeks and pains my heart knowing that one day my real life will be banished from my soul and the upgrade version of rich culture will flow through my blood.
Just once at least for a moment I want to have a real laugh, cry for the pain I received verbally and to allow my head rest on someone's shoulder who will soothe my pain not interested if I received any bruise outwardly and tend to be the ointment to my inner self. Can't I wish for someone like that?
I pray to God that I shall receive my flowernot for my pain but also in my happy moments. But can I get someone?
The honey eyes flashed in my memory. Through the crowd when my eyes held hers I didn't find any hatred or shame and for the first time I am glad to see a different emotion from someone so beautiful like her, pain. As if my pain was inflicting on her too.
I want to see her, feel her, touch her and make her mine. The sudden possessiveness is quite unknown to me. The way she laughed when someone and especially a male hugged her swirled me with an unknown feeling. Is this is right? Can I feel like others without them interfering my higher status in the middle?
