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I AM DOING IT. God, I am but the fact that she won't be here anymore makes the reality sucks. I stand in front of the door with a bouquet of white daisies because she loves them. I cough a bit to gain her attention and it helps but when I meet her eyes, which match mine, the same colour, the same size, pushes me to the guts and I quickly lower my eyes.
"Good morning, Eomma," I whisper, looking down and finding visible dirt at the corner of my shoes. I enter inside and take a few strides to stand beside her and extend an arm to offer her the flowers. "For you, Eomma."
A sob escapes from her mouth making me swiftly look at her. She is lying in her master's bedroom with a diary that is now hidden from me. As she drags herself a little against the headboard, I help her. "Are you alright? Do you need any medicine?" I check her skin temperature, her heartbeat, and her pulse.
"Oh , nae salangseuleoun kkoma. T-Thank you," she caresses my face lightly as if she is afraid I will vanish. "You did it so well. Daniel and I can't stop watching you perform but I have a slight complaint, who ironed your dress? I found creases behind your back. I need to talk to that idiot who did such a lousy job." And ladies and gentlemen, here she is. No matter bedridden or not, my mother has as many complaints as the politicians' suggestion box.
"First of all, I am not sweet and little as you mentioned and who looks at that so closely? People came to watch my performance, Eomma."
"Are you eligible enough to talk back to your Eomma? I am still alive and you will give me the exact respect after that."
"Eomma! Don't." Just thinking about her not being anymore among us brings lots of heartbreaks. Even though I didn't get a lot of attention from my parents, they still provided a few glimpses in my childhood and now one missing important character will forever haunt me. I am still freaking eighteen years old and I am already on the verge of losing a parent.
She sighs and inhales the daises. "I love them. Thank you so much." Two days earlier, when Sapphira and I were visiting the last location of our date, I asked her what I should do that showcase my gratitude towards Eomma and she replied with ease that I shall give her something that she loves. Even today, I wanted her to accompany me but then she had her loads to carry like talking to Rosemary which for a second I was against but it's Sapphira and she has her way of distracting me with her sweet words and lots of kisses which by the way, I didn't mind at all. She will be even talking with her family about her mental health and the therapy she took, all thanks to her elder sibling. She also said she needs to rekindle her friendship back with her friends, Eleanor and Eve as she thinks (no, overthinks) they are not close anymore.
