𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 (𝑬𝑵- 𝑱𝒂𝒌𝒆𝑯𝒐𝒐𝒏) ✔

29

Sunghoon

"Why didnt I know? "

Mom just laughed a little before embracing me.

"He doesn't want you to worry about him. He said, he's older, he should look out after you. When Jungwon got sick, he's so determined to not loose him. And you know what he told me before?
He told me 'Dad, I don't want to be scared anymore. Let me challenge myself. I have been escaping going out my comfort zone because I'm scared if I do, I might loose something but now, I want to do this not only because I want to help Jungwon but also, because I don't want to loose Sunghoon as well.' He wants to be prepared for the worst. He said just in case the worst came, he don't want to loose himself because he don't wanna loose you. That's why he's doing what he could to go all out. I think like me, he doesn't like to regret things"

I smiled at my parents before running back to Jay's room.

This time, I will be your crying shoulder, and that will go on as long as I live.

Opening his door, I saw him already dressed up, maybe for work.

He look at me, shocked probably but before he spoke a word, I ran and hug him as I just cried and cried. Not saying a word.

"I'm sorry. . "

Was the only word that left my mouth as I continue to sob.

I felt him rub my back as a small laugh left him lips.

"What for?"

"I'm sorry . . . I gave you a hard time before. . .I'm sorry you have to be hurt just because I'm such an idiot. . I'm sorry . ."

He released from the embrace as he smiled at me.

"You're a great brother Sunghoon and you deserve a great brother as well"

"But . .. I've been horrible. . you can't even share me your burdens because I'm such a weakling. . . how can I deserve you?"

"Hey . . you have no idea how strong you look to me. Did you think the one year you are in pain, makes you weak? No . . not making a move to fix yourself is weak . . even if it took you a year. . . I'm still proud that you made it this far. . you Sunghoon have no idea how you help me hold on. . . I'm not giving up . . you know why? Because I know if I fall, I still have you. . that's why I always go on. . "

"Won't Jungwon be jealous of me?"

He laughed as he sat on the couch.

"When I saw you on that stage during graduation, you spoke to everyone and I'm so proud of you. I told myself, wow he's finally growing up. . . you always are so afraid of talking in front of people but on that day, you made it"

"That's because I can't let you down. You always got my back and I can't let you down."

"Exactly, I am not always the good brother here."

We both laughed as I hug him again.

Imagine my life without this person, I might not have one.

"BTW . . Jake mentioned something"

I widen my eyes. . .

Is it the k.. . . .

"He told me you went skating with him.   He also said you did something that changed him. . he told me he's gonna show me when we meet.  ."

I smiled as I remember how Jay still don't know the sound of Jake's laughter again.

"You went ice skating?"