More Than 50 Fools (The States)

The Key Lime Pie, The Cat, and The Hang Gilder Incident

In the Jones Mansion (During the time of the world meeting.)

The Jone's gym was a large monstrosity. It had red velvet padded bleachers on both sides of a huge basketball court and a stripper pole dead center of the room. Why? Because when it was first built, several States led by Oregon and New York, threatened to secede unless the gym was "classy with a little trashy." Nevertheless the result was an oddly designed mess that was able to fit the fifty states as well as any guests that might visit.

It was the trial of the year. An occasion long awaited by the defendant Drake D Jones, also known as South Dakota. No state wanted to miss what was sure to be a dramatic affair, so they had all dressed to the nines in their Victorian best, complete with bedazzled masks and high neckline gowns, and seated themselves on the right side of the bleachers. It was the perfect place to witness the action without having to worry for their own safety. Perched on the left side of the bleachers were New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Nebraska, Louisiana, and New Jersey who had long ago been elected to act as the jury for such incidents. Two tables and with several chairs had been dragged out behind the center of the room. One table, set out for the defense, was completely empty. On the other hand, the prosecution's table was completely covered in papers. South Dakota, the alleged victim, and his acting lawyer Connecticut, were scanning over documents with vigor.

"Hear ye hear ye, all rise for the almost honourable Judge Delaware Jones," New Hampshire called out to the crowd.

The states rose to their feet as Delaware strutted in, dragging a chained up North Dakota behind her. She wore a ruffled black dress with a massive hoop skirt. Her short bob curled for the occasion. When she reached the center of the room she paused to attach North Dakota to the stripper pole then moved to stand in front of her. North Dakota would have protested had it not been for the gag in her mouth.

Addressing the audience she began, "I will begin by reading the charges..." She paused. "Actually, I will begin by asking why I am the only one without a seat?"

Nobody spoke up.

"Let me rephrase that. Somebody go get me a seat or carve up your face like Mount Rushmore."

Kansas decided to take one for the team. She hopped up and rushed out of the room, coming back a few minutes later with a padded chair under one arm.

"Not as nice as I had hoped, but it'll do." Delaware said offhandedly as she sat down. She cleared her throat and began again. "Now that that's taken care of, I will begin by reading the charges. You, Dakota Jones of North Dakota, have been accused of 2 counts of Destruction of Property, 1 count of Being an Awful Person, and 1 count of Operating a Cannon While Under the Influence. How do you plead?"

There was a muffled noise as North Dakota attempted to speak, but alas, she was unable.

"My apologies. I'd forgotten you are a little tied up at the moment." There were a few giggles from the audience. "Instead of speaking, tap your foot once for a Guilty Plea and twice for a Not Guilty Plea."

Two taps echoed throughout the room and both cheers rose up from the audience. Most of them would never admit it out loud, but they either loved the entertainment these trials provided or loved the punishments they got to watch afterwards.

"How unfortunate. I was hoping this would be over and done with already." Though her face told a different story. "But alas, it wasn't meant to be. . Prosecution, you may begin your case."

"The Prosecution would like to begin by calling the first witness, South Dakota, to the stand." began Connecticut.

"There is no stand," someone called out.