Forced to Grow Up

Chapter 7- Carewine

Watching Caroline walk away a second time was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I leaned against the wall and sunk down to the floor. With my knees in my chest and my head in my hands, I just sat there. I stared at the door for hours, hoping Caroline would walk back through it, but I knew she wouldn’t. I had blew it. I blew any chance I had to get Caroline back in my life.

“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have told Caroline about Kelly yet. It was just too soon. Now she’ll probably never talk to me again and it’s all my fault,” I mumbled to myself, “Why does shit like this always have to happen to me? I’m twenty-eight years old and perpetually single. The only person out there that I want in my life has turned and walked out on me, not once, but now twice. I ran her away the first time and looks like I’ve done it again. I guess I’m just destined to be single for the rest of my life.”

I felt the urge to drink. A few beers won’t hurt anything. It may just help me sleep. I walked to the fridge and grabbed a cold Miller Lite. Sitting down at the table I cracked the seal and turned it up, finishing it in one drink. I grabbed a few more out of the fridge and finished them one after one. As each can emptied I tossed it in the vicinity of the trash can. The more I tossed the more I missed.

“Hell, I’ll probably never see Caroline again. I’m sure she won’t even answer when I call her tomorrow. Even though she told me too. Is this what the life of a single dad is like? Will I always be alone? Will it always only be me and Kelly?” I slurred my words so bad that I almost couldn’t understand myself. I got up and walked to the living room, kicking empty beer cans along the way, before I slumped down on the couch, “Why is it so hot in here?” I instantly stripped down to my boxers. Laying on the couch I found myself thinking of what I could have done differently to make Caroline want to stay.

“Luke,” Amber said as she gently shook me, “Wake up.”

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in here?” I questioned.

“Would you just wake the hell up?” Amber exclaimed.

“Oh, sorry. Is Kelly okay?” I asked curiously.

“Ummm, Kelly is fine. She’s still sleeping, but you should put some clothes on,” Amber stated as I looked down. I evidently found it extremely hot because sometime while I was asleep I had taken my boxers off. I was completely naked.

“Oh shit!” I yelled grabbing Little Kelly’s blanket and covering myself.

“It’s okay. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before,” Amber said as I blushed.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I apologized as I looked around seeing the empty beer cans all over the floor and grabbing my boxers.

“What happened last night? Was it Caroline?” Amber asked me.

“It was everything. I sat right here and watched her walk out of my life again,” I said somberly.

“What do you mean? Tell me what happened?” Amber questioned me.

“I brought her back here and I told her about Kelly and she kind of flipped out. She said she couldn’t be a mom to her. I told her that’s not what I wanted, but that we were kind of a package deal now. I told her that we could take it all slow. She left. She said to call her, but I’m sure she won’t even answer if I do,” I explained to Amber, “It’s all my fault. I threw too much on her at once.”

“Luke, you really love her don’t you?” Amber quizzed me.

“I do. More than anything I know I want to marry her. I have never stopped loving her,” I answered Amber truthfully.