Chapter 18: Visits

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If a man has the freedom to choose peace or chaos, and chooses peace and love despite the turmoil that necessarily arises from living in a sentient world, his soul and vision can expand to the very stars.
---Anath shen Sorrel Albandor of Yambisey

Canúden followed sullenly behind the soldiers. If they noticed his scowling, they took no heed. He eyed the black hunting dogs that surrounded him on every side, their eyes glowing golden-silver in the moonlight. What fangs. If only one of the dogs took him by the throat, how quickly it could end it all for him. Having watched the Kel hunt on numerous occasions, he knew what dogs were capable of, how they ripped apart flesh. Canúden's own hot, pulsating blood would drip down his neck, excruciating pain and exultant vertigo leading to the Otherworld. He found the thought strangely exhilarating. No wonder Dylin cut herself. To die a violent death, like his Dylin, and to have her there to greet him in the Otherworld.

Dylin was just on the other side of those snarling, glistening fangs. All he would have to do was run off into the dark forest; surely the hunters would chase him if he put up a fight. He could openly admit to kidnapping Lianna, that he had intended to rape her; such was a form of the actual truth. The Kel wouldn't even have to execute him: The dogs could take care of him instantly, right there in the dark forest. Or the soldiers, just as they had taken care of his mother.

Two women he loved like his own soul, gone from violence. Ma gone from the lies she told. And Lianna would be taken by a brutish kel boy to do with as he wished. And his own daughter inside Dylin, murdered before she breathed.

The lack of Dylin's mind in his staggered him.

He fingered the pouch he'd taken from Ma's body. What right had she to die, and he to live? Lianna would marry a kel, and his purpose for living was gone. He'd hesitated for a moment, and so failed. Dylin's daughter was captured, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

They walked for an hour, and the soldier loosed his grip on Lianna. They paused to tie her wrists together with a leather cord. Where was she to go? The men could easily overtake her. The girl eyed the soldiers, scowling, but made no effort to struggle. She was thin and agitated like someone who'd lost everything.

When she was free to move, she glanced back, stumbling, with frightened eyes as if to make sure he was there. His face burned in shame; he had thought to abandon her. Dylin would rebuke him if he faced her in suicide. She would crumple to the ground in the Otherworld and look up at him in tears and pleading eyes, wondering why he had not kept his promise to stand by her daughter, no matter what. The girl was not married yet, after all. Anything could happen between now and the Engagement Ceremony, or even the wedding, and he'd be with her even then. He nodded in numb recognition to let her know that he would not abandon her. He hung Ma's pouch around his neck and trudged along in silence.

They reached Butu before midnight. The small, rundown houses on the outskirts were dark, but tall lamps lit the main, cobbled street. Dozens of people darted off to nowhere good at that late hour. No one looked anyone else in the face. They seemed sullen or angry, evidenced by their slouching shoulders and darting eyes.

Lianna hardly looked up from the ground, not that she needed to when Borthos tugged her forward once they entered the main street.

The soldiers led them down so many streets, Canúden had no idea where they were when they halted. When he glanced around, he saw that the dim and dusty street ended at a silvery beach, a wide strip of moonlit ocean not far beyond. Only four solitary people, with cloaks drawn up to their cheeks despite Feer's tropical warmth, milled the street. One lamp cast a dim orange circle, allowing Canúden to read a sign swinging on a pole hanging from the building they were about to enter: High Market Inn. Under the words was what looked like a silver crescent moon over an ocean, but when he came closer he saw it was a jumping sword fish glistening with silver scales.

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