Ruined ll Book 1

Gone

I stare in a daze at the dark brown urn in front of me.

 I feel like someone ripped me in half. 

I feel like a walking corpse. 

Tears coat my face as I sit there and stare at what's left of my best friend while I hear Grayson give his goodbye speech. 

"Fenix was my friend. He was my brother." He says pausing as he looked up from the script to glance at me. 

He was my other half.

"People keep telling me that life goes on, but to me........... that's the saddest part." He croaks out. He sniffled as he pushed his shades farther up, shielding his eyes. I stare blankly at him as he scrunched up the paper in his fist. 

"Some of you don't know Fenix the way some of us did. Some of you know that he wasn't the same as how he was before." He paused as he lifted his gaze back up behind me to the handful of people that surrounded us. 

Friends. 

Gang bangers. 

His Mom and Dad. 

---Flashback--

 "So, what happened with you while I was gone?" Fenix asked me as he brought his cigarette up to his lips. I shrugged as I stared down at the wooden table. 

"Nothing happened" I say, quietly. 

"Nothing eh?" He says, wiggling his eyebrows. I shrug again causing him to drop his goofy act. He composes himself and signaled me outside with a tilt of his head.  

As we settled ourselves on the front porch he wrapped his arm around me bringing me closer to him. I snuggled against him, inhaling the smoke that he blew out. 

I closed my eyes as a tear scrolled down my face. 

 "There was a time where I went full on crying for like a month because I hated you" I confessed, glancing up at him. A slight crease appeared between his eyebrows as he stared down at me, blowing out another ring of smoke. 

"I hated you so much because you left me here by myself, you were my rock and just-" I cut myself off as I exhaled.

"Everything changed. I saw the world in a different perspective" I say, quietly looking away from him. I feel him trace a finger around my forehead and temple, mimicking his scar.

"How did you see it?" He whispered as he continued his assault. I closed my eyes, drowning in his feathery touch. 

"A cruel place where happiness didn't exist for me anymore" I whispered. I felt his finger leave me. 

"I'm sorry Jennifer. I'm sorry for leaving you" He says quietly after a few minutes of silence.  I opened my eyes, seeing him stare down at me as his eyes glistened with tears. I nodded, wanting to change the subject. 

"How are your parents? Have you seen them?" I asked him as I pulled away. He let his arm slide down my back before patting me.  I stared at him waiting for him to answer me but he continued to stare at me in a daze. 

"What?" He asked puzzled, after a few minutes. 

"Your parents. How are they? The last time I saw them I think I was walking to school, I don't rem-"

"I don't know" He says, cutting me off. I press my lips together as I see him turn away from me, clenching his jaw.  

He doesn't want to talk about them.