From LA to UK {Larry Stylinson book 1}

Chapter 52

It's 3 o'clock in the night when Harry hears a knock on his door. He rubs his eyes and takes his phone, using his flashlight.

"Lou?" Harry says with a hoarse voice.

"Haz?" Louis' voice sounds broken and he hears a sob coming out of his mouth.

"What's wrong?" Harry doesn't want to be too open towards the boy, reminding himself that Louis has hurt him only a few hours ago.

"Can we talk, please?" Louis rubs his arm and looks at the floor.

"It's 3 in the night, Louis. Maybe we shou..."

"Please? We have to talk, Hazza. I can't do this anymore." Louis interrupts, for the first time looking up to Harry.

Harry sighs and nods, lifting the covers so Louis can join him in the bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" Harry is straight to the point, not wanting to torture himself any longer.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. I heard you crying earlier in my room and I wanted to come over to comfort you but then I realised that probably I am the reason." His voice cracks and Harry sees the boy crying, making his own heart hurt.

"Did you regret it?" Harry asks, knowing he is setting himself up for heartbreak. He needs to know it.

"Regret what?" Louis tries to postpone his answer.

"Do you regret telling me that you love me?"

Louis bites his lip and nods.

"Yeah, yeah I regret it."

And Harry knew it already in the back of his head but hearing Louis actually say it literally tears his heart apart. He tries to fight the tears but he can't. The pain he is feeling now is too much. The boy that he is in love with literally says that he regrets telling Harry that he loves him.

Harry immediately takes his hand off Louis, not wanting to touch him anymore. The pain is too much. Just as Harry is about to tell him to leave his room, Louis speaks again.

"That doesn't mean that it was a lie. It wasn't. I meant it. I do love you, Harry. I just regret telling you that I do."

And Harry is so confused now. Does Louis love him? If so, why does he regrets telling him?

"I don't get it. Why do you regret it? I told you immediately that I love you too. I don't want to push you Lou and I don't want to hurt you but you are messing with my heart and I really want you to stop doing that and be clear with me. I don't know what I am to you, Louis. Please explain me what I am to you. You tell me that you love me only to regret it later, but then you say that you do mean it. It's just a bit much, Lou."

"I regret it because the words 'I love you' bring expectations with them. I didn't think about the consequences when I told you."

"Which consequences? Which expectations? Louis please for once give me entrance to your pretty head. I want to understand this. I want to understand you. I have the right. This is not only about you anymore, Lou. This is about me as well and I'm going crazy." Harry pulls his hair, tears streaming down his face.

"Please, don't cry Haz. Don't be like this, please not because of me. Stop crying, I'd do anything."

"Then explain me, Louis. I just want to know what I am to you and why you regret telling me that you love me Just saying that you didn't think about consequences and expectations doesn't cut it, not this time Lou." Harry tries to calm himself down, removing his fingers out of his messy curls.

"What you are to me? You are everything to me Harry and it's fucking scary! You can make me do anything and I won't even question it. You are on my mind every single second of the day. It's like I'm not in control of my feelings anymore. Everything that I do, every single thing that's going on in my mind, it's all you you you. You don't get it, Harry. You don't get how important you are to me. And now you know that I love you and it makes me vulnerable and weak. You'll expect a relationship because I love you and hell I want a relationship with you. I can see us work in the long run, maybe even forever. You are the only person that gets me. But you'll always expect sex Harry and I can't give you that, not yet and I don't know when I will be able to give you this. I'm still stuck with images of Tristan in my head since he came back and I'm not ready to touch someone or be touched in that way and you will dump me because I won't give you that and I will be heartbroken and...;" Louis is rambling and even forgets to breath, tears rolling over his cheeks.

Harry grabs Louis' face between his large hands, making the boy stop talking.

"Louis, sh. Stop talking." He interrupts the boy. Louis does as told but he can't look Harry in the eyes. He feels so embarrassed.

"I don't have any expectations, baby. There won't be any consequences. I love you and that means that I love having you around and I want to take care of you. That means that I respect you and that I'll do anything just to make you happy. I will never force you to do things that don't make you feel comfortable, babe. I'd never do that to you. I understand that you are scared and I know that you have been hurt but I'd never ask something from you that you are not willing to give me. I respect you and I love you so fucking much. If you ever say that you are ready for a relationship, we'll do it at your pace. There is no need to rush. There is no need to have sex the first day, week, month, whatever. I don't have any expectations, Lou. The only expectation I have is that you are honest with me."

Louis only nods, feeling like a huge weight is lifted off his chest.

"Do you love me?" Harry asks, making Louis look straight into his eyes.

"I love you."

"Do you want to be in a relationship with me?" Harry decides to be straight to the point. He is done with all the riddles.

"Yes."

"But you are scared?"

"Yes."

"You are scared I will leave you because you don't want to have sex yet."

This time Louis doesn't use his voice to answer, he only nods.

"Just know that when someone really loves you, that is not an issue. And Louis, I really love you." Harry whispers, looking deep into Louis eyes.

"But I'm going to mess up, Harry. I always mess everything up and I don't want to lose you just because I'm a fuck up."

"You are not a fuck up, Lou. You have your baggage but everybody has and the only thing I want to do is help you carry it on your way and maybe even help you to get rid of it. Don't call yourself a fuck up. You should see yourself through my eyes. We will make it out. Do you love me?" Harry asks again, making sure Louis hasn't changed his mind.

"I really do, Harry."

"And I love you too."

Louis takes a deep breath of air before he starts speaking. Hearing Harry say these words is the key to open Louis up. He is ready.

"I know that normally this is done in a romantic environment after a nice dinner with candles and not in a bed at almost 4 in the night while crying but I can't take this any longer and maybe I do deserve happiness and you definitely make me happy. But before I ask you I want to tell you that I am not easy and I'll probably make a lot of stupid mistakes and this is all new to me. You know I'm not ready for anything sex related yet and I have a fucked up mind. I'm going to have those days that I don't want anyone around and just cry in my room and during these days I will try to push you away, I know myself. I just need to know that despite all these things you still want to be with me?"

Harry grabs Louis' hand, kissing his knuckles.

"It's a part of you, Lou. I love every single part of you."

Tears are still streaming down Louis' face and he needs all the courage he has now.

"Harry Styles, do you want to be my boyfriend?" Louis is nervously biting his lip, looking at the younger boy lying beside him.

Harry's eyes go big and his heart is jumping out of his chest. This is the moment he has been waiting for, for so long.

"Yes. God yes I want to be your boyfriend. Can I kiss you?" Harry still wants to hear Louis' approval, not wanting to cross any boundaries.

"You don't need to ask me anymore. Just kiss me, boyfriend."