twenty nine

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yeah, i, i know it's hard to remember
the people we used to be
it's even harder to picture
that you're not here next to me
maroon five: payphone

it was extremely difficult for james to grasp the situation at hand. not once had the marauders ever been this divided or so pinned against one another. it was almost impossible to believe that none of them had spoken in weeks

it almost felt like one long and screwed up dream. expect it was real and james had to accept it for what it was

sirius and remus were on the worst terms of them all. remus had gotten all his screaming out right away. sirius took it appearing as though he understood that he deserved it but would never regret it

remus refused to speak to james or peter because he was convinced they were in on it. he assumed james backed out at the last minute simply to protect his reputation. sirius, known for being stubborn, was not giving an inch. he stood by what he did and no matter how much prying anyone did he insisted on the reason remaining unknown

pete and james talked once in awhile but it was just easier to sit in silence

all of hogwarts had begun to notice. the marauders once loud and obnoxious were now painfully silent. which meant classes were calmer, the flow of the corridor moved in an orderly fashion, and life was as boring as ever

at least james had regulus, thats what he told himself during these weeks. at least he had not lost everyone

after transfuguration professor mcgonagall requested that james stay behind. if it werent for his lack of trouble making recently he would have been scared. however he knew she was going to ask him an insane amount of question because even she missed her little lions

"potter, whats happened? hogwarts hasnt been this peaceful since you arrived five years ago!" she asked

"well the prank happened professor. it really pinned us all against each other," james shrugged shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning back against the table

"youre not speaking at all?" she questioned not truly believing it

"i mean pete and i talk whenever were outside the dorm but sirius wont even look at me and neither will remus,"

"does remus think you were apart of it?"

"yes, he thinks i only backed out to save myself. but obviously thats not true. i had no idea until sirius starting hinting at it," he went on. "i understand why remus is so upset. sirius set him to become the one thing he has never wanted to be. worst of all sirius still seems to think whatever reason he had for it was justifiable."

"youre the leader james, you always have been. they need you," mcgonagall said with a wink

james nodded before taking off suddenly aware that he had to do something. he had to at least try, no more ignoring the problem

"sirius?" james said quietly as they sat in the dorm later that night waiting for pete and remus to get back

"yea?"

"whyd you do it?" he asked

"cause," sirius shrugged. "i mean if only you heard the things he was saying about remus. i think if you heard them youd have done something as stupid as i did."

"so youll admit it was stupid?"

"yes but its not like if i could go back and change it i would. if remus wouldve got to him, snape wouldve gotten what was coming to him," sirius stated still not showing even an ounce of remorse

"how can you say that?" james gasped

"he talks about remus as if being a half blood werewolf makes him less of a person than us. he acts like he is worth nothing and can never amount to anything," sirius explained. "and blimey james have you never noticed how hes been treating lily recently? hes just as cruel to her for the same stupid reasons. stupid fucking blood purity."

james leaned back against the headboard of his bed trying to relax, "i know hes a bad person but i dont think any of this is that simple."

"it is that simple prongs," sirius snapped

james groaned, "no pads its not, okay? just look at your brother. hes a good kid but does he always make the right choice? no. and why doesnt he? because all of this is so bloody complicated."

sirius crossed his arms, "i still say he had it coming."

"doing that to him wouldve only put you on his level. you are far better than that. and i know damn well you know you are," james told him

"sirius you were born to be bold. and i can think of anything bolder than living with love in a world with so much hate."

a smile spread across sirius' face. it had been awhile since james had seen him smile

"i see that smile pads, cant hide it from me. youre smiling cause you know im right," james teased

"tosser, why do you always have to be right?" sirius laughed softly

"because im james potter," he replied smiling back

a moment later remus walked into the dorm room. he looked bloody exhausted. he was followed by pete who headed straight for the bathroom

james didnt blame him. there was one huge elephant in the room. and james almost wished he could hide in the bathroom while it was addressed

"evening," james said politely

remus just nodded

james glanced at sirius catching his eye. he tried to silently beg him to apologize to remus. he couldnt tell if it had worked

then sirius said something, "moony"

"you dont get to call me that sirius," remus shot in a low voice. "not after—"

"i know," sirius said quickly. "i know i dont deserve to. but youre still moony, youre still remus. and im still sirius, im still padfoot."

"your point," remus asked turning around raising an eyebrow at sirius

"theres no point in hating your best friends. hate takes up enough space in this bloody world. it needs more love," sirius stated. "it needs us. all of us."

remus leaned back against his desk crossing his arms. then he sighed, "sirius you gotta understand that what you did it—what you did just proved his point. all you did was show him that i am dangerous. i mean you do realize that right?"

sirius held his breath, clearly he hadnt thought of that

"remus?" james jumped in

"yea," remus said

"you know i wouldnt lie to you. i had no idea, neither did pete," james told him quietly

"yea, i realize that now." remus said a small smirk forming on his lips. "if either of you had known, you wouldnt have let the wanker go through with it or even come close to."

sirius looked up at remus grinning wildly

"im sorry moony, really. but you gotta trust me that i didnt do it for no reason," sirius attempting to make amends

remus tilted his head with a soft smile, "i know you had your reasons but if you ever do anything like that again..."

"yea i know, bye bye padfoot," sirius waving his hand

"actually i was gonna say youll have to start doing your own school work but yea that too," remus chuckled

"prat," sirius shook his head walking towards remus

"yea well 'm your prat," remus said smoothly just about killing sirius as he wrapped his arms around him

suddenly pete three the bathroom door open smiling like a little kid

"were back?!" he exclaimed but in a questioning tone

"were back," everyone confirmed in unison

a/n: im not sure how i feel about this but its been too long since ive updated so, enjoy!

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