Nympholepsy

𝟎𝟐

I've struggled with my mental health for a while now, although nobody would ever suspect it because I keep my walls up as best and as much as I can. The things i've endured in my life are so fucked up, it's insane to think people do those kinds of things to others. I never really had a family, well i mean i have siblings ..but  i consider myself without parents. I have a three brothers, two older; Cameron (25yrs old) and Matthew (23yrs old) and one younger; Wylie (1month old) , and one sister who's younger than me; Delaney (10yrs old). It's makes no sense as to why two people who hate their children would continue to have them..i guess just so they can have new ones to beat as well. My two oldest brothers moved out the minute they got the opportunity..it's not like they wanted to leave the rest of us but how were they suppose to look after us when they couldn't even look after themselves because of our parents.

"Riles, you good?" i hear pulling me out of my head.

"Yeah. yeah..fine." i fake smile, my head was not a good place for me to be went i'd swear i'm there more than anywhere.

"We'll be home soon." She says rubbing my arm, i don't know what i would do without her. die most likely, literally. I always told Neve how i couldn't live with her..i couldn't abandon wylie and delaney and just leave them there those...sick excuses for people. Neve would always tell me how if i didn't get out of that house..then i would never be able to come back for them and take them away from that house, because i would be dead..either at the hands of them.. or myself. And she would tell me how i couldn't do that to them. Once we arrive home i get out of the car and make a break for the front door, i get super antsy waiting for Neve to come and unlock it since i don't have a key yet. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah..perfectly fine, i just need to get inside." i say walking back and forth. Neve unlocks the door and lets me in, i dart towards my room and shut and lock the door. i'll worry about getting my stuff later, right now i just needed to feel safe and secure, i sit on my bed and grab my pillow pulling it to my lap and squeezing it. i sit there for a bit just trying to calm my breathing.

"Ri?" I hear Neve say as she knocks on my door.

"i'm good, i promise."

"Can you unlock the door for me?"

"Can i have just like a minute more?"

"Of course, i'll be sitting right here for you." i hear her shuffle to the ground and she sits, i know she's sitting right against it, knees touching the door. she knows it makes me feel safe knowing she's right there. After a minute or so i take a final deep breath, placing my pillow back down on the bed and getting up to unlock the door for Neve. "There's my girl." she smiles up at me. this girl really owns my whole heart, i've never had a more amazing friend than her.

"hi." i smile down at her and hold out both my hands for her.

"What's my girly wanna do for dinner?"

"No dinner..drinks." i state lifting her up.

"You know drinking on an empty stomach has never been kind to you..i mean it's a bitch in general but for you it seemingly has a special hatred."

"i don't care..i need to down all of what happened today."

"Okayyy, whatever the newly legal wants, but i don't wanna hear any complaining in the morning when ur head deep in the toilet." she laughs.

"Whatever." I laugh and head to the bathroom to get a shower. After my shower I went back to my room to start getting ready.

"Hey Riles?" i hear Neve call from her room.

"Yeah?" i sit still and await her reply but it never comes, and just as i'm about to get up to go to her room i see her appear in my doorway looking at her phone slightly scrolling through. "Neve?"