Left Me || Dreamnotfound

Chapter 10

TWs: self hate, self harm
George Pov
We went inside and i alread saw Zak, Darryl and Niki sitting in Alex's room.

"You guys i have an idea!", Alex said.

"What is it?", Darryl asked excited.

"So the idea is, that we play minecraft...but we record it", Alex said.

"Ooo that sounds really cool", Niki said.

"Yeah, it does.", Zak also said.

"Sounds good", I said. I bet it would be cooler with Clay here. But ok..

We all got our Laptops and Alex sat down at his pc. He had quite a big set up.. but to be fair, we all had big setups at home.

"Hey guys, a friend just texted me on discord if we could play together. Can she join?" Niki suddenly asked.

"Yeah sure, we can call her and here Niki, that's the ip. You can send it to her.",Alex said showing Niki the ip.

"Ok", Niki said excited.

We heard her phone ring and someone joining the call.

"Hey Niki", someone said.

"Hi Cara!", she said. "Ok, wait i'll switch my camera on so you can see my friends!"

"Ok!"

Niki switched her camera in the call on and turned her phone around.

She pointed at us one after another.

"Thats Zak, thats Darryl, thats George and that's Alex"

"Hi", we all said and waved.

"Hey Guys", Cara said and waved at us.

We all booted up minecraft and joined the server. To our surprise there were already a lot of buildings and we saw a message.

CaptainPuffy joined the game

"Is that you Cara?", I asked.

"Yup", we heard her say.

"Ok, ok guys, come this way", Alex said, and his minecraft character walked towards a big wooden building.

"Here guys, YEEeZYYyysSS", Alex said and we all burst out in laughter.

"Guys, who of you has which user?", Cara asked.

"So, Alex is Quackity, Zak is Skeppy, Darryl is BadBoyHalo and George is Georgenotfound.", Niki answered.

"Ok!", Cara said and we continued playing.

After sometime Cara had to go because she had to get ready for a job interview. We all said goodbye and she left the call.

"Ok, ok let's see", ALex said and he fot his recording software.

"Wow, thats alot of footage", Darrl said inpressed.

"Well, we can edit it ofcourse, yknow make it shorter and cut the best parts together."

"You know how to do that?", I asked interested.

"Yeah, it's kind of a small hobby of mine", he said grinning.

We started to edit the video. We decided what to cut out and what to keep. After sometime Alex showed us how to add effects and then we also added some to funny parts together with gifs etc.

One and half an hour kater we were done.

Alex saved the file and we started to watch it. He also made a discord group and added Cara, so he could send the file for her to watch. All in all it was a very fun time and i had conpletely forgotten alm my worries.

It was already 8pm and Niki, Zak and Darryl all had to go home.

Before I could go outside Niki tapped ln my shoulder. I turned around and looked at her confused.

"Huh?", I said.

"Hey uhm George. I know your not doing the best at the moment. Just wanted to say that we are always here for you and you can always talk to us.", she said and the others nodded.

I nooded slowly and whispered "yes".

We all hugged for a few seconds and then we all made our way home.

I was on alf way home when i suddenly stopped. I was infront of Nick's house..

I knew this was Nick's home because Alex once said that he saw Nick and his parents in the garden one time he was on his way to my house.

I looked up to the windows. But there was no light. I remembered that they  were at Clays house.

I suddenly felt really bad again. All the memorys all the bad things that happened. Suddenly this afternoon didn't seem fun anymore.

It was all my fault Clay wasn't with us anymore. They all hated me for it and i knew it. Cara propably also hated the afternoon because i ruined everything. I didn't know how, but I did. I did and i knew it.

I started crying and in my toughts i didn't even notice that i fell of my bike. Only minutes later did i notice the pain in my knee and when i tried to stand up i felt the pain in my stoumache return.

I lifted myself up and slowly walked home in the rain. I got the key from under the doormat and unlocked the door.

"Mum?"....no answer. I went to the kitchen, and saw a note.

I have a late shift again, love you .food is in the frige.
-mum

I didn't care about the food. I wasn't hungry. I walked upstairs and lied down onn my bed.

I started to cry more and more. I was in so much pain and I didn't know what to do anymore. I knew everone hated me. I knew it.

I went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror. I looked awfull. I was so ugly, i had puffy eyes, red patches on my skin and i was very pale.

i opened the watertap and spalshed some water into my face.

Suddenly i saw something next to the sink. A razor..

I could just cut myself once. No one would care would anyone? No.. everyone hated me. No one cared about me.

I put the razor on my wrist and slid it across. I didn't put alot of pressure on it, but enough for it to cut trough my skin.

Before i knew what had happened i had around five cuts on my wrist. There wasn't alot of blood, but just to be sure I held my arm under cold water and dried it.

It stung but after a few moments it stopped. I went back to my room and lied down on my bed.