chapter fourteen√

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I wake up everyday making a decision to love you better than yesterday..

Suwi's pvo

I felt it after such a long time, the increased heartbeat, the butterflies in my stomach and a genuine smile tagging on my lips.

His talking about some memory from his childhood. He squints his eyes when he laughs showing a perfect pair of white teeth, he looks carefree and adorable I can't help but smile.

But then suddenly I remember that I haven't smiled like this in a while. The feeling is a bit unsettling, though I feel  less dark or dare I say a bit happy.

"Hey sweetheart, are you listening" he calls to me grabbing my hand lightly.
And that is enough to break me from my thoughts. I feel the warmth that his hand is giving off and I like it so I smile at him slightly.

"Yes I am here listening" I assure him
He just looks at me with that gorgeous smile like his commiting every little detail of my face to memory.

If I could blush I would be as red as a tomato, hoping he doesn't notice I cover it up with a cough. That seems to break of his stare and he frowns looking concerned. He is so adorable but of course I would never say that out loud.

I grab my water bottle and take a sip. "Am okay" I say as I place the water down.
"I should get going" I blurt out looking anywhere but him.
He just nods standing up " yes I have already taken up much time than agreed right" he says with a little chuckle.

"Yes you have besides I was studying" I say pouting my lips
"We both know that's not true sweetheart" he says while looking at me and I just shrug my shoulders

I stand up as well grabbing the paper boxes that contained our fries and throw them inthe trash.

We start heading back to my apartment slowly because let's face it I don't want the moment here to end.
As we walk I notice he has his hands stuffed in his Jean pockets.

"Are you feeling cold" I wonder out loud. He clears his throat and looks up ahead lips in a straight line. For a moment I think he is never going to respond.

"No am not cold" he admits taking some time like he is trying to put his thoughts or words in order.
"I just... goodness this is stupid but I want to hold your hand so bad" he says shaking his head slightly chuckling

Am practically in shock looking at him with wide eyes, I couldn't have heard him right could I?

He stops walking and faces me but I keep walking. He pulls me back lightly turning me so that we are facing each other, his hazel eyes looking into mine like he is searching for something.

He holds my upper arms "but I don't want to make you uncomfortable sweetheart" he says giving me a dashing smile
I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't I just give a forced smile and turn around. He gets the hint and starts walking as well.

We fall into a comfortable silence and continue walking side by side.
"You are beautiful Suwilanji and I think your smile is amazing" he says out of nowhere not looking at me but up ahead.

"You don't know me Chris, so don't say such things" I tell him a little harshly. I can't help it,  my walls are back up but they are slightly shaken and I don't like it. I need these walls to protect me from pain that hurts so damn much you almost feel it's physical.

And I increase my pace but who am I  kidding the guy is tall he catches up to me in  just one stride and pulls me to him such that my chest touches his Everytime I breath. At this point I am practically fuming. I hate that am not scared of him, I want to be myself with him and laugh so hard hell even let him hold me and that terrifies me.

"Hey Suwilanji look at me" he says softly lifting my chin up so that I can look at him. And I look at him giving a slight glare. He smiles softly looking at me and I can see a bunch of emotions go through his hazel eyes, feeling like he can see right into my soul.

" Just because you don't want to hear something that doesn't mean it isn't true sweetheart" he says. I  just stand there blinking up at him so he takes it as a sign to continue.

"I think you are beautiful especially when you are mad" he teases with a laugh and my resolve slips causing a small smile.

"Now seriously can  I hold your hand sweetheart? He questions lifting his right eyebrow
" Uhmm yes sure" I tell him my voice sounding squeaky all of sudden.

He steps back and grabs my right hand engulfing it in his huge hand. I feel my nerves come alive and I hear him hum in pleasure and I know he feels it to.

" This is perfect" he says with a smirk looking at our intertwined hands. And I silently smile liking the warmth his hand is giving me.

You already like him
My subconscious taunts me
Oh please I do not.

But somehow I doubt that answer myself.

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I missed you 😩🥺

Thank you guys for 379 reads😚
Because honestly I thought no one was reading 😋

I love you guys so much 💙
You motivate me 😎

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