Attack On Titan Boyfriend Scenarios

Chaotic Gremlin Marco Bodt headcanons

(if you find this also on tumblr don't report!! that's  me lol)

-lowkey enjoyed scaring children when he was a teenager. He would pull pranks that made it look like his arms fell off, he ate dogs, maybe make scarily vague comments about a body he may or may not have hid somewhere.

--For some odd reason he can't have sugar. Like sportacus from lazy town, his body will either shut down completely or go into maximum overdrive and he'll be jumping on the walls like a feral animal. One time he was moving so fast Eren literally couldn't see him, he was a blur. Another time Marco was limp on the floor and Armin thought he was dead.

--he can somehow teleport. Jean once saw him in the kitchen of their shared apartment once time and then upstairs in what seemed like only 3 seconds. Marco has tricked everyone into thinking that he can literally apparate into any place he pleases

-Eats string cheese at 2 am regularly

-flexible!!! He can bend his body in ways that should not be possible.

-Goes to bed at 8pm but wakes up at 4am, then stands outside regardless of the weather and just stares into space.

--He is so obsessed with things that are neon colored that he is virtually unreachable if you held a neon yellow slinky in front of his face

-talks like a flustered anime girl just to peeve Jean off.

-Eren once asked him if he could make him something to eat and Marco decided to make a pizza (something he had absolutely no idea how to do) and when Jean came to check on it the oven was practically filled to the brim with diamond shaped pizzas with way too much cheese.

--sometimes he'll run up the stairs on all fours just cause. He'll run on all fours down the stairs too he has no fear

--sleeps with eight blankets on his bed and just climbs underneath all of them.

-Jean once needed to borrow Marco's phone charger and when he got too close to the blanket pile he was pulled in before he even realized what was going on.

-he has really big eyes so when he widens them he genuinely looks like those '90s anime characters. Eren once told him he looks like his face is just 80% eyes.

-has to wear button up shirts regardless of the weather.

-the funniest video he's ever seen is the "Not the yattas" video and he watches it whenever he's sad

--does yoga when he's upset too and even screams to himself when he's alone because he has a lot on his mind poor baby

-his mind is always in the gutter 🤭

-everyone thinks he doesn't even know what his pe**s is used for but he knows

-lost a bet to Jean and he had to dye his hair cotton candy pink and he was so disgusted he begged Jean to let him just shave his head instead.

-sits cris cross apple sauce at almost any given time

-really good at applying makeup for some reason??

-when he's laughing really hard it sounds like the dude laughing in the michael jackson thriller song

-he's a lot stronger than his friends think. Very buff man, beefcake freckle man 😳

-why is he so cute?! 😩

-he sleeps like a corpse

-has a part between his teeth!!!

-has never and will never drink alcohol. He refuses to be in the same room with it

-eats kitkats the wrong way (you know what I'm talking about...)

-it doesn't matter the situation, he will always run like there's a lion chasing him.

-He cooks for the people he likes and even gives bear hugs because Marco gotta Marco.

-Can rock any fit

-watched happy feet once and decided that he wanted to learn how to tapdance.

-And learn he did.

-Uses metaphors that gave never been used before

-"She was a snake hiding in dead skin. That witch."

-Treats his sexiness like it's some dangerous superweapon that must be kept under lock and key (big fluffy hoodies and tie-dye rings)

-knows he sexy and shows no shame when using it to get what he wants. For example, Jean won't share his food? Marco will get a little too close and give him the look TM

-speaking of looks, Marco has a pretty frightening stare.

-Reiner was once being stupid and the said something along the lines of "If Marco were a girl I'd totally hit that!" And Marco furrowed his brow and gave Reiner The Stare TM and the room suddenly went cold. Everyone shut up and he really didn't have to say anything before Reiner was apologizing.

-"That's what I thought."

-Marco is a secret bada**

-no I will not elaborate because I love him