5 days left • Class 1-A (✓)

03

Throwing up black and red already got old. The stench of rot and blood filled your bathroom. The two smells did not go very well together. The smell made you nauseous.

After ventilating your bathroom and room you just sat beside your bed. Out of curiosity you decided to check your back to see how it bad it had gotten.

You lifted up your shirt and found yourself feeling disappointed. Another patch of decay was visible on your stomach on the left side. The spot was black and looked rotten. More so than the other on your back.

You didn't leave your room. Hoping to sleep a little more. You just laid on your bed hoping this was all just a dream. rather a nightmare.

You could hear your friends pass by your dorm. A few stopping just in front before walking away. Almost as if they wanted to go in.

You had no appetite. The subtle taste of metal and rot ruined it for you. You sat up from your bed and leaned against the wall.

"Why can't things be like before? Why did it have to be this way?" You asked yourself, questioning if it was your fault.

You had stopped taking your meds and stopped doing your treatments allowing for it to get worse. It wasn't for a couple days no, it was for a month.

You allowed it to happen know very well during that time you could've gotten rid of it.

"It really is my fault." You whispered quietly, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

"Stupid! If only I wasn't so fixated on dying! I could've been better!" You yelled slightly through your clenched jaws.

You didn't yell loud enough for anyone to hear. Only loudly enough for you to hear the guilt in your voice.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." You repeated as you beat your pillow for no reason. Out of pure angry for yourself you hit your pillow over and over.

"Stupid. Stupid. Why? Why? Why did I have to ruin what I had? Why was I so stupid? I could've been happy! I could've lived!"

You finally accepted your death. You finally accepted that you were going to die. Your anger turned to sadness. Tears slowing slipping down your face as you continued to hit your pillow.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault." You whispered as you stopped hitting the pillow. The guilt you had of leaving them behind grew as it was your fault.

It was all your fault and you knew it. Your doctor warned you on what would've happened but you didn't listen. Had you listened to warnings along with the others, you would be living with out the fear of dying in front of them.

You were the cause of your suffering. Not the gods, not the universe but you. You specifically. You blamed everything on the world but never yourself. You always thought it was never your fault.

"I blamed the world...for something I did." You whispered so quietly you were even sure you said it.

"Oh guys...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You whispered softly as you tucked your knees to your chest.

"It really is my fault. You guys are just paying the price." You whispered to your self. You hit your knee in anger at your self.

"I wish I could change what I did."

You wallowed in self pity for quite sometime. Understanding that you would rob them of the happiness that their friend would stay.

It was 11 when you finally decided to leave your room. Before you left you went to the mirror in the bathroom and checked how you looked.