dead to me| 2- s. r

TWO

You shoot up in bed, eyes snapping open and your body trembling slightly as you glance frantically around the room, trying to calm yourself down. It was a nightmare. You hadn't had one like this in a few years, and seeing Spencer last night must have triggered them or something, because this one was one of the worst ones you've had in a few years. Even while you're awake, you still can't seem to escape it, still hearing the echoes in your ears.

"I-I have a girlfriend." "So? It's not like we're doing anything, Spencer. We're just talking; I don't see the problem."

You lift a hand up to aggressively rub your eyes, trying to make the images and the echoes go away. You'd think that four years later you'd have forgotten all about it, but you swear you can still recite the phone calls by heart from the number of times Nathanial had played them for you. It somehow feels even worse when you catch a glimpse at the scars that line your body; your torso, your thighs, your shoulders, you can't escape them. They serve as reminders of everything that happened four years ago, and because of it, you can't seem to ever forget about it, no matter how bad you want to.

Despite your reluctance to admit it, seeing Spencer last night was hard, especially seeing him with Henry and Michael, it brought up memories from four years ago you'd worked so hard to suppress.

You see Luna settle into your lap as you slowly start to calm down, resting her head on your thigh in a way that helps you calm down. You take a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut as you focus on your breathing and calming your racing heart. You flinch when your phone rings from beside you and you pick it up, seeing JJ's name flash across the screen.

"Hey," you breathe out. "Hey, I was just calling to say thanks again for last night. You did Will and I a huge favour."

"Oh yeah, it's no problem. We had a good time," you assure her. The line falls silent on the other end and you furrow your brows, "Is that... all?"

"I don't know, you tell me. I was just a little confused this morning when Henry woke up and was telling me all about his fun night with Aunt Y/N and Uncle Spencer."

You groan loudly, flopping your body back onto the pillow, "So, I take it didn't go well then?" You roll your eyes despite her not being able to see you, "What do you think the answer to that is?" JJ lets out an amused chuckle, mumbling a "no, it didn't go well," on the other line. "Is this the only reason you called?"

"No, actually. I called to warn that you'll be receiving a call from Penelope Garcia in a few short moments." You pull the phone away to glance at the screen, "No, I haven't got anything yet-" You cut yourself off when the name Penny flashes across the screen. "Hold on, J, I'll call you back."

You swap the calls and answer, giving Penelope a greeting as you answer the phone. "Hello, my munchkin! I've missed you dearly so I've arranged for a few of us girls to head out for breakfast this morning. Just like old times! What do you say?"

"Anything for you, Penelope Garcia. Just text me the time and place," before you finish your sentence, your phone is already chiming with a name and location of a restaurant that serves brunch. "I will see you there, my love. Eek, I'm excited! Oh, how I've missed you." A grin makes its way up to your face and you say goodbye to Penelope, making your way out of bed and taking Luna downstairs for her morning walk. You fill up her bowls before hopping in to take a quick shower, styling your hair like you normally would before moving onto your outfit.

Despite the spring weather in Quantico, it could still be a bit chilly at times with a breeze. You slide on a pair of dark wash mom jeans that have rips in the knees, sliding on a ribbed red tank top, tucking the bottom into the high waist of the jeans. You add a black jacket on top and a pair of high-top converse, cuffing the bottom of your jeans and grabbing your purse, shooting a text in the group chat that you're on your way. Emily replies with a "Sounds good, see you soon!" whereas Penelope opts to send a bunch of different heart and smiley emojis, which doesn't surprise you in the least.