L'etoile Filante

Memories

Enjoy petits canards.
Remember - bold is for when they speak Russian OR her thoughts. You'll know which is when.
Have fun with le angst-

Natasha knelt in the bathtub, hands over her ears as the shower poured cold, cold water on her from above.
Her vision was blurry, her head pounding, and voices echoing in her head.

You're a killer Romanova- it's in your blood

Blood. So. Much. Blood. On. Your. Hands.

So much guilt in the back of your brain...So much you regret.... You wish you were never born... You want to die...

Maybe.. Maybe you should...

No. NO! Shut up! I'm not like that anymore THAT'S NOT ME!

Are you sure?

No one can change their true nature.... it's always hiding underneath... one day Natalia... it WILL show... and you- you will be all alone..

'I said STOP!' She yelled, and on the last word, punching the wall with all the force she had, so that the pain would distract her.

And it did.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Four hours later)
.
.
.
.
'Will she be okay?' Thor quietly asked, sitting next to the unconscious Goddess.

'She will. But she will be asleep for another day or two.'

'Th-thank you Bruce.'

'Of course.' The man gave Thor a smile. 'I'll do anything if it means it would hel you..' He blushed and stuttered 'I m-mean your my friend- of course I would.'

Thor just gently smiled.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
As Nat walked into the throne room she could immediately feel Loki's gaze follow her as she moved, malic in his eyes.

'Are you sure we should let him and his sister stay?' Sam asked, doubtful of the choice T'challa was making.

'Yeah.' She agreed, surprising the others with her input- she rarely spoke nowadays. Loki's eyes narrowed, as he stared at her even more intently, the lust for her blood, her death clearly visible in his eyes growing with each word she spoke. 'How do we know that he won't turn out to be a bloodthirsty monster, just like his father?'

Mere seconds later she was pinned to the wall, Loki's fingers wrapped around her neck.

'Shut up Romanoff- or should I say Romanova. From what I know, there's an incredible amount of red on your ledger- it's dripping, gushing - so much blood on your hands. And there's something off about you, something that makes you a woman out of time.'

But she did not hear what the God said, for her mind was already spiraling, memories of her past resurfacing.

"Ivan. Come take her. Do as you please."

"No Madame please- I can do better- I promise!"

But the older woman gave her no heed and the Russian man dragged her into his chambers, locking the door.

"Uncle Ivan please!" She sobbed "My body can't take anymore please PLEASE!"

"Nonsese. You have made your mistake. Now you must pay for it."

She felt his fingers wrap around her neck, his rough lips attacking hers, as she struggled under his grip.

He pulled away, ripping her shirt off.

"Now, now, now. It'll hurt less if you be a good girl. Be a good girl and comply for me little red."

She was hyperventilating, murmuring in Russian under her breath.
'Please no... I can't take anymore... it hurts please no! Uncle Ivan please!'

Loki immediately let go of her throat and she took in a deep breath, gasping, before her eyes flew open.

'If you ever, ever, touch me again, Mark my words, you will have no means to touch anything, ever again.' She growled out.

Looking at everyone else, all who had incredibly worried expressions on their faces, she walked to the doors. 'Now if you may excuse me, I have other places to be.'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She stood infront of her bathroom mirror, hands tightly gripping the platform.

Do it. Two on each arm won't hurt.

What's the use of it. I won't. You can convince me.

I know you, better than you know yourself. Think about it this way.... Once cut... compensates for one life you've taken.

She took in a shuddering breath as she picked up the thin blade.

Very good. We can start of small.. just two on each arm first. Remember... one cut... one life...