Kindled Hearts

18// Forgive me

Nicole was livid, her face soured and a surly weave crept to her lips. She knuckled her ashy fingers beneath the ArtCaffe's table and stared at the window, past the growing line of tea lovers and finally at the sky. The weather was perfectly clement for an early morning, clear and too brilliant, it reminded Nicole of the hues of a bottomless ocean, a beautiful cloak to the atmosphere, except, Nicole hated it, she huffed, groaned and negated that same cheerfulness from translating to her demeanor.

She shifted her gaze and turned to the man sitting across from her. "Why did you come father?" She dangled fury like a child's play and wished him burned, enough to let her be.

Mr. William regarded Nicole with that same poignant, judgemental look he always had for her. "Since when did you start drinking?"

"Drop the care act." Nicole grazed the rim of her tea cup with her thumb finger and eyed him venomously. "Why did you come?"

Mr. William merely blinked. "You never were the type to take pleasure in drinking. What changed?"

Nicole cursed under her breath, charged her feet and began to rise. "This is a waste of time, my time and most especially your time, knowing how precious yours is."

She was almost past their table, ankling towards the ArtCaffe's door when she heard his voice, a distraught timbre, a quiet and low whisper yet some heads turned inside the quaint cafe.

Nicole retreated, stood before him, then sat herself down when she noted she'd stringed unnecessary attention.  "What did you say?" she asked.

Mr. William didn't meet her eyes, he intentionally failed to and the mere action of it riled Nicole more, she felt thorns to her skin, raw and sharp, rippling the threads that had once filled her crevices. Suddenly she was bare, a fledgling to her own skin.

Mr. William cleared his throat, then came his words in a wistful tone. "Would you forgive me?"

Nicole croaked, laughed, choked on her saliva and felt tears to her eyes, warm and burning. "No one shows out of the blue and expect forgiveness to be handed out on a gilded plate. Things don't work out that way." A female waiter came by, smiled to the both of them and slipped a bill on the table, then walked off. Nicole leaned against her seat and said, "No, I don't think I'll ever forgive you. You cost me my relationship with my own mother."

Mr. William suddenly steeled on his seat. His eyes, a cold pool of brown, twitched and wrinkled, hewing Nicole to a tremble.  "Don't dare put that on me. That was solely on you. I never forbade you from coming home, didn't tell you to abandon your own mother. You were selfish and self centred and even now you still are if you can't eat your pride and see mama."

Nicole heard her pulse rage. "I actually thought you'd come to change one day. But I see you are still the same father, thinking you righteous like a new born baby."

"I admit I was a little hard on you back then, I didn't want to see through your perspective and I may have pushed one too many buttons but in my heart, all I had was good intentions for you. All fathers do."

"You were barely a father to me." Nicole shook her head, fought the mist in her eyes. "You'd come home and always it would be about my damn career path, never about how my day was. You hated that I choose writing to law. It disarmed you so much that you thought best not to associate with me."

"That's not true Nicole. I love you and will always love you. That night when you took your things and left home, I thought your words were only but a blunt knife and I kept hope, but when weeks turned to months, months to years, all hope lost its lustre and now the world has no meaning if I can't have my only daughter back home."

Nicole's resolve stumbled when she looked to him and saw paints of pain and anguish upon the  old man's face. "It's too late."

"No it's not. I know you can't forgive me today, it will take months, probably years too but can we please make a fresh start. If not for me then at least for your mama. She needs you."

Nicole dragged her eyes to the window, watched delicate wisps of white billow round the glaring sun and felt a cold trail to her cheeks.

She fought back a sob.

" I'll think about it."