Comfort

Catch me when I land

Falling. A deep and dark abyss with flashes of neon lights like tears of colour. Time and speed mean nothing when you're falling. Your limbs separate themselves from your body, your head floats off somewhere else, your soul leaves completely. Your heart drops from your chest and your brain shuts down. All you can feel is a sort of breeze and a comforting cocoon of emptiness. You don't know when you're going to crash so you just wait and wait while you fall and fall. You have every thought and no thoughts. The funny thing is, you have no idea it's happening. One day you're walking around just living your life and the next, you've fallen. Hard. The ground rushes closer and closer, the cocoon rips and all support is lost. Your body barrels faster than before and you hope with all you have that someone will catch you. So close your eyes. Hold your breath. Relax. 

I hate moving. It takes forever. You gotta find somewhere to live, someone who wants your old place, pack all your shit up, hire a moving van, and a load of other things I'm sure. The point is: it's ridiculous. There are boxes in every single room of my new apartment and no one to help me. It's been five days and I only just put my bed together. Speaking of which, the multitude of pillows and throws look real inviting right now. It would just cushion my fall and envelop me in a fluffy hu-

No, focus. The closest box to my left is nearly empty, only my alarm clock and a couple of photo frames remain. A turquoise, gem incrusted frame on the top of the pile whispers from inside the confines of cardboard walls. In a trance, my hands reach out to pick up the photo. A ghostly flicker imitating my ex gazes upwards, a cherry blossom tree draped in fairy lights hanging overhead in a canopy of beauty. Water drips down the glass, flooding the ground she sat on in salty tears. I let my fingertips wander over her face, tracing every feature like it's the first time seeing her. 'I'm so sorry.' I can never say it enough. It'll never fix what I did and I'll never get her back but it's the best I can do. 

Lights flash out the corner of my eye. A split second before I can register, glass explodes in a fountain, raining down into the open boxes around my bed. Outside, bodies, cars and bits of road fly around in a hurricane of destruction. 'Fuck!' I exclaim, throwing my body to the floor. The picture falls from my grip, landing face down shattering the glass. Gunshots ricochet off the buildings around me, making it impossible to tell where or who it's coming from. A high-pitched yell and a thud has me crawl from my position to the far side of the room. In my place, a body clad in black with perfectly styled red hair lands in a crouched position. As they raise their head we lock eyes. Shimmering green irises rake over my trembling form. The woman the eyes are attached to flips back out the hole in the window, following a mumbled apology. Inside my chest, my heartbeat hammers at a hummingbird rate, knocking the air out of my lungs. And then I remember the fighting. And the fact I live on the sixth floor.

'What the fuck.'

*******

'Yeah so all the boxes are gone. I somehow managed to get all my furniture up although I'm too scared to put much weight on any of it.' I explain into the phone tucked between my cheek and shoulder. It took a couple of days to clear all the glass off the floor and replace the windows. i got lucky in the sense that a broken window and a bit of a shock was the worst of it. My sister laughs on the other end of the line. I moved away from home five years ago when Jess wanted us to live together and, well, after the whole fiasco with her, all I wanted was my big sister. 

'How did they get the windows replaced so quickly?' Jenna asks. I can almost hear her grabbing the little notepad and pen she keeps beside the landline, poised and ready to write down any useful details. 

'Apparently it's a regular thing around here so there's like insurance and everything you can take out.' I reply. The last of the suds rinse of the dish in my hand. In the sunlight it looks like tiny diamonds dancing over the plate. It joins the rest on the drainer while I empty the basin and dry my hands.