Insanity News - The IJ news channel

SKIT: And we're live!

. . .

Hello? Are we on air? Oh! Hello people of Wattpad I'm your news anchor IJ and welcome to Insanity News!

For this first episode, we have a special guest! Introducing; an old man we found on the street!

Old man: "Where am I?! Who are you people?!"

Haha, that's nice sir.

Old man: "Why do you have a tail? Are you one of them furries the kids are talking about?"

. . .
And for our next segment, I'll show you how to hide an old man's body!

Old man: "Wait what-"

For this segment we have very special guests-

. . .

What's that? They couldn't make it? Darn, and we had the perfect subject too.

Old man: "What?!"

Well I suppose we'll have to move on to the weather with our weatherman WJ!
WJ, what's the weather for this weekend gonna be like?

WJ: "It's gonna be a little cold heh heh"

WJ are you ok?

WJ: "Oh yeah man I'm just kinda high right now"

Helix d#mn it-

Old man: "Why the heck did you hire him?"

Why are you still here?!

Old man: "I don't know where the exit is"

Alright fine I guess we just need to move on then.
Next will be our sports man SJ with the sports for the week. SJ?

SJ: "Uh, I don't really know much about sports. Uhhh, football or something?"

Old man: "Why do you keep hiring idiots?"

Shut up or I might do that section without the special guests.
SJ just read the script if you need to.

SJ: "Oh ok. Let me just pull it up here- ....."

SJ? Are you alright?

SJ: "I have just read things that no living being should ever read. My vision on reality and life as a whole has been shifted on ways that cannot be reversed. The damage done to my mind makes me question if I even have a mind of my own. I have been broken beyond comprehension."

Did you read the universe script on accident?

SJ: "Yeah"

Alright, get Kibbles and TJ, this guy needs therapy, and also lock up that script, it's too dangerous.

And I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today!

Old man: "Can I go home-"

Until next time, I'm IJ, and that was Insanity News!
C ya!