when they call my name

ch. 2

christian stone

-

"WE'RE SO FUCKED!" Benjamin Newman whisper-yells as we drive away from the scene of the crime. The cops will be contacted any minute about the mini explosion we set and how they're going to find the electrocuted body of Knox Ledger.

We did the right thing, I tell myself. We did the right thing.

I did the right thing. For my band, for my mother.

My grip on the wheel tightens as I listen to the rest of my band whine and start to freak out. With Landon Brewer sitting right next to me, I feel a little less paranoid than the rest of my band.

When we make it to a red light, it allows the remainder of us to take a breather.

"What the hell happened back there?!" Noah Ward yells.

"We just killed a man! We just killed a man!" Carter Villarreal holds his head between his hands in attempt to calm himself down.

Landon turns to me. "What happened, Christian?"

I sit in my thoughts while waiting for the light to change color. It all happened so quickly that I wasn't able to process anything all night. I remember drinking... Mammon taunting me about my mother.

You will be feared, despised, and worshipped.

Feared. Despised. Worshipped.

"I-I don't know." I answer in between breaths. My chest is full of rage and all I could see was Knox's burnt corpse flashing through my mind. The sound of his screaming like a shrilling ring,

We really just did that. I only tried to let him go in the first place so that I could avoid the pain in my chest, but now that's all I am left with anyway. Maybe the bastard deserved it anyway.

That's the least of our problems now.

How could I not be honest with the rest of my band? We will be all the things that that evil bastard said we would be – feared. Despised. Worshipped. People will kill over our music and congregate the masses. He will win. We will become famous.

That was the deal.

But now I'm starting to think that there was more to this than I realized. I'm a fool for not seeing it when it was right in my face – such a demon represents negative energy. The devil. By killing Knox, did it count as a sacrifice? A satanic ritual?

I didn't have time to think through the pros and cons. To decipher what is morally right and morally wrong. I got one taste of evil and suddenly I've lost the perfect sight of what I know and what I want.

I might need another drink before I go to bed.

"Alright, alright. Good news is, nobody saw us." Benjamin convinces. Everyone agrees with him on that.

"Bad news is... we will have guilty consciences." Landon snaps.

Everyone groans and Carter starts to worry some more. For being the youngest member of The Relentless, Carter has so much talent that it will drive the fans crazy. It's situations like this that remind the rest of us just how much younger he really is.

"So what's the plan?" Noah reaches out from behind Landon and in between him and I.

Benjamin cries out, "I might puke again!"

I exhale heavily. "The plan is we're gonna head back to Natalie's apartment. We're gonna walk in like the intoxicated men we are and go to sleep. None of this happened. Okay?"

The rest of the guys agree in unison. The horrid and satisfying memory of that douchebag's corpse lying on the ground is almost enough to make me feel no remorse. He got what he deserved... the fucking end.

"Should we tell Natalie?" Noah speaks up.

"What for? So that she could feel some kinds of fucked up since her ex is dead?" I snap. "What happened back there will never be spoken of again. Got it, guys?"

The band agrees in unison again. The trust I once had for some kind of goodness has evaporated in the smoke that burns from the ends of my cigarettes. The possibility for some kind of repentance is long gone now.

Antares's words are in a string of haunted thoughts. You will be feared... despised... worshipped.

For the love of God I sincerely hope that's true.

Perhaps there is a sliver of a chance that I can be redeemed somewhere in the future. If I tell myself that I am a sinful man and that there is no hope for me, maybe God will have pity on me and remind me that I am only right to an extent.

Until then, I could use distraction. A distraction from murderous thoughts and flashy rockstar edge. I can sink deep into the thoughts of my dark obsession of a pretty little waitress.