nothing like us, taekook English version

6: "You want to take your head and go, dark streets; blind, deaf, dumb."

The episode is a bit long, so please read with two songs, EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE TURKISH because these are the songs that make up these parts and it makes you feel all theotio better.

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W

hen I placed the glass of water on the dark gray nightstand right next to my bed, when I put it apart from my lips, my thin fingers around the glass loosened and the glass existence left the body, and my tongue threw a tiny round on my lips moistened by the warm water and absorbed the excess moisture.  I slid back slightly on the bed in which I was sitting, leaning my back against the leather-covered headboard of my bed, covered with a black, flat T-shirt while the cover on my bed wrinkled because my hips did not cut off from the mattress in the whole process.  When my legs were easily cross-legged with my back resting on the headgear, my black sweatpants slipped off so much that my ankle, even an inch above my wrist, was visible.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my diary from years ago, which Seokjin Hyung had found while cleaning my room.  The vibrant tone I saw when I began to examine the leather cover of the black, almost the same age agenda, without my hands, it was proof that Seokjin hyung had taken as much dust from the notebook before he gave it to me.  I said as best I could because the details of the rope embroidered on the edge of the leather cover were still dusty around it.

Without my help, I felt very nervous when I swallowed deeply, as I have often done since the moment Hyung gave the diary to my hand, because this diary was stuck at my worst times and I was not in a strong and good mood to face the pains of Jeongguk at the time, but just as much.  I was also wondering what I was writing, how I was feeling at that time.

I had not forgotten my past, although I wanted it so badly I could not succeed, but my feelings at that time were not so clear;  They were engraved on the walls of my mind, but with the passage of time all these writings had faded away.  Maybe I was slowly beginning to forget the way I wanted to, all that made me ruin me a little more every day, moments of me.

Or just getting used to it.

I took a breath deep enough that I could feel the taste of my breath in my throat, I ignored my tension-aching tummy as my chest swelled with my breath like a courting dove, and I pressed my lips firmly together and opened the worn cover immediately afterwards.  It was the first date that caught my attention.  This diary was the first diary I kept, and when we consider history, it was the diary I wrote about my worst days in the upper left corner.  When this fact caused my stomach to contract, I swallowed gently, and as I gathered my ready courage, I started reading without giving up.

03.10.2012

I feel so lonely, despite the dozens of bodies around me.

When I felt my heart start to ache with two sentences, just two sentences, all I did was blink my eyes and keep reading.

05.10.2012

Today I realized that there were two people who didn't make me feel lonely until now: my mother and Taehyung.  Everyone else is nothing more than a dry crowd for me, my mom and Taehyung, only those two sizes make me feel like I have thousands of friends, when they left I realized that all these people were just shadows for me.

Two bodies are gone and I am left all alone, in spite of all my surroundings.

The first to do this, today, many hands around my back for consolation, caress my mother's hair and say, "My mother will pass."  or Taehyung hugs and says, "I'm always here for you."