Guilt // Chicago PD

FBI

There is an almighty banging noise at Eris front door, she assumes for a moment that it is Jay coming to see if she's ok. But the bangs sounds all too familiar from her childhood. She's opens the door to see her father standing there with a bottle of scotch in his hand, stepping to one side to allow him in. Grabbing to glasses from the kitchen before following Hank out to the balcony.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" He asks sipping his drink.

"Talk about how a member of your team has undermined a federal agent since the beginning of a major investigation? An investigation that could be the end of the team if it ends badly? A team member caused the death of two innocent victims? All because what? She was upset a boy rejected her? She wasn't the golden child anymore? No I don't" Eris downs her drink in one before pouring another.

"She will be investigated. To the highest extent of Chicago PD" Hank begins to explain.

"No she won't" Eris interrupts "the FBI will investigate her, you guys are too close" she explains not breaking her view from the Chicago skyline.

"Eris. You can't save everyone. You have no idea if he would of shot them two regardless if you had follow plan or not" Hank try's to defend his team.

"Oh stop it. Like you actually believe that. Did you know?" She asks gritting her teeth.

"No" Hank reply's bluntly pouring himself a drink

"I went to see him this morning" Eris explains "I sat for an hour. Trying to think of something to say to him but I couldn't. I haven't been to see him for 4 years"

"He knows you're there. He was so proud of you" Hank looks at his daughter.

"How would I know? The Justin I knew wasn't proud of anything but himself. I held on to my pride so much. That I missed his final moments" she laughs to herself, a constant feeling of regret for being the way she is.

"He did. I promise. Would I lie to you?" Hank grins at her.

"Well" she jokes with him "you know I loved him. No matter what he was my big brother. I had a photo of him on my desk. You know when we went to Disney land?" She starts to laugh.

"The one outside the castle" Hank laughs as they remember one of their last vacations all together "he loved you too. We recovered a box from his house. And it had everyone one of your achievements in it. Had very picture of you two. He was so proud Eris" she makes a noise as she pours her drink. Remembering all the good times with her brother before he went away "he said missed the girl you were, before everything"

"Yeah. Many do" she downs her drink before placing the glass down on the table "she was easier to manipulate" Eris retreats to her bedroom.

Everytime she closes her eyes, the faces of Lydia Woodard and Lily Moore flood her mind. Whispering over and over why didn't you save me? Everytime she stretches out to reach the children they move further back, it's endless cycle. No matter how fast she runs she will never reach the kids, she will never save them. That's the problem with the FBI, everyone looks to you to save the day, they look to you to solve the unsolvable. To get the kids home safe and sound. Once you start believing everyone around you, when there is a loss. It hits harder than normal, you take the loss personally.

"Hank?" Eris stands in the doorway of her dads office. He looks up at her nodding "sorry about last night. The losses never get easier"

"That's what makes you the best agent" Hank nods t his daughter when she gets distracted by something happening in the bullpen.

"Is that the dulcet tones of SSA Mat Simmons I hear?!" Eris smiles turning around to face the bullpen "oh I must have been good in a past life to be blessed with your presence" she bites her lip hugging him.