Everything You Never Had

Confession

The next morning, you're waiting for your assistent to show up, so you can get back to work. Since he left yesterday evening, you haven't stopped pondering about his comment, his discovery. Cate's jumpsuit still lays in your laundry room, stored and out of sight to give it back when you'll meet her again. Right now, you're just waiting for Noah to show up, open the door, and receive an ongoing rant about your sly constructed lie. But when he arrives, and you open the door, he does nothing of that sort.

"Time to get to work. A lot of calls need to be handled today." He tells you when he walks in your apartment.

You close the door with hesitant and cautiously respond. "Right..."

He turns around to look at your blank demeanour. "Well..." He begins impatiently. "...are you ready?"

Still comprehanding his ignorance about the topic, you slowly make your way to the office. "Yes, let's get to it."

All morning long you two stay busy making calls. And all morning long his lips stay shut about his discovery. Every word that you share, every sentence that you speak towards him, comes out with prudence. And by the time it's afternoon, and you're standing at the kitchen island for lunch, the tension is eating you up alive. Just seeing him eat his food, acting casual, as I he doesn't know.

"She stayed over." Are the words that slip out.

Taking a bite from his sandwich, he gazes into your eyes whilst chewing, a slight grin begins to form on his face. Every second seems to take ten, and when he contently swallows his bite, he begins to speak.

"Why'd you lie?" He asks, his grin is replaced by seriousness.

"I don't know." You honestly respond.

"Tell the truth." He commands.

Not wanting to bottle up the lie any longer, you bluntly respond. "We slept together."

And right when you say those words, you can see his surprise, the shock in his eyes, which he then tries to mask away by a composed expression. Clearing his throat, he casually speaks again. "How did that happen?"

Your answer is already on your lips. "We went to different clubs, and had a lot of drinks, and had a lot of fun, and then it happened all at once."

He seems to be taking a while to process your words. And after a while, he begins to speak again in a blank tone. "What now?"

"What do you mean, 'what now'?" You defensively say.

"You're telling me it just happened?" He begins to ask in a more direct, firm tone. "You just happened to climb into bed together and that's is? What, are you gonna do it again?"

You're silenced by his words. He has all the right to say these things, to question what you've done, and this realisation makes you demure and timid. Once again, you truthfully respond in a quiet tone. "I don't know."

He softly sighs at your unknowingness, feeling pitiful. "This is wrong."

And there he said it. The words that you and Cate both avoided saying to each other. The hard fact that you didn't want to think about, hoping to make it less true, now said out loud.

You fearfully look down at your tense hands. The words that escape your lips sound fragile, and barely audible for your best friend. "I don't know what to do."

He calmly walks over to you and pulls you in an embrace. "I can't make a decision for you, Y/N." He says behind your back.

With your head on his shoulder, you chuckle at his comment. "Yeah, well, you made your opinion pretty obvious."