Inhale [DNF]

- 4 -

Sapnap was back by the time I finally burst into the apartment. He was sitting on the kitchen counter lazily, eating what looked like a bowl of baked beans. I visibly gagged.

"Rough night?" He asked offhandedly, and I recalled every awkward situation I'd been in.

"If you could call it that. Nearly took someone out on the subway today," I mumbled, opening the fridge and looking for something that would fill the void. "Went down to a club with some people from work though. I think it was called the Quack or something like that. Ever been?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'm there loads of nights. My ex owns it. But we're still friends though."

"Your friend owns the bar?"

"Yeah, dropped out of school to do it. Had this crazy assed idea that New York is the city where dreams are made or whatever. It's fine though, I get half off drinks and so do my friends. You know, you should come with us tomorrow night. We got a show. It'd be fun."

I grabbed a block of cheese and cut some slices off with a butter knife, eating it slowly.

"What do you mean, a show?"

"I must've not told you. My friends and I got a small band that we made our first year here. Just a local thing. So Alex let's us preform at the bar cause it gets both of us business. My friend started it." Sapnap shrugged.

"That's cool. Is that why you've got all the tattoos...?"

"Kind of. My friend got a sleeve tattoo first, then I got my eyebrow piercing with him because he was afraid to do it alone, then I decided 'hey, I'll get some tattoos, it'll really piss off my parents at Christmas', but then, yknow, my family doesn't talk to me anymore so I guess the point of pissing them off at Christmas was useless."

Sapnap had never talked about his personal life to me before, and I was surprised that he gave in and told me so early on in our friendship.

"Did they stop talking to you because of the tattoos and piercings?"

"Nah, it was more like, I started dating someone they didn't approve of. You know how most Texans are. Well—you probably don't, you're British." We both laughed and I hoisted myself up on the counter across from him.

"Well I think you look good." I blurted out. "Like, the tattoos and the piercings are cool. I wanted to do something like that when I was a bit younger but obviously that didn't happen." I nodded down to the outfit I was wearing—A blue sweater and checkered pants that rolled at the bottom, barely touching my converse. "I'm not exactly tattoo material."

"You'd look good with a piercing or two. Like your eyebrow. Not that I'm trying to say you don't look good—I mean—fuck,"

I laughed and shook my head.

"I had my ears pierced once, when I was particularly drunk after a party, but that's the most extreme thing I've done. I'm not really a 'cool' person. I mean, I'm majoring in political journalism."

"Nah. I think you're pretty cool. You play the guitar. That's cool. You ever play electric bass or just acoustic?" Sapnap threw me a slice of cheese and I tried to catch it in my mouth, but I failed miserably.

"I wanted to learn, but it already cost so much for my PC and my acoustic that I've just been saving up for the last few years. It's funny, I wanted to be in a band when I first started playing. It was my whole personality, I'd tell all my family members that I was going to have records and be super famous with my guitar." I laughed faintly.

"Yeah, I thought the same thing, except I wanted to be a concert violinist. Now I play the drums and get high all the time. Things change." My flat mate shrugged and hopped off the counter. "Come with us tomorrow night, yeah? You gotta get out more. You're in class or work or here. I can't be your only friend."

"Ah, see, there's where you're wrong," I joked. "Now you've confirmed that we're friends so I'll be perfectly fine."

Sapnap rolled his eyes.

"You're such a loser. I'll meet you at the Quack tomorrow at 8:30 okay?"

I smiled and nodded.

I think what most people underestimate about it me is my willingness to do and try things. I've said it before but as introverted as I used to be, you'd think I'm a whole new person now. Sure, I get embarrassed easily and I apologize a lot and maybe I'm not incredibly outgoing, but shit, I'm not completely useless.

I jumped off the counter and went to my room, kicking off my worn sneakers and throwing my sweater across the room, barely missing my laundry basket. I examined myself in the mirror, trying to imagine my body with tattoos. I don't think my parents would be too happy about me getting tattoos, especially considering how they reacted when I started going to parties.

You'd think I'd committed a homicide by the way my dad reacted to me coming home wasted that first night. I was of legal drinking age too, and he absolutely tore into me about how dangerous it was to get so drunk like that.

I was a fairly obedient kid, but that was one thing I didn't really respect about my parents. I liked going to parties—they couldn't tell me to be more social and then reprimand me for going out and being more social.

In the mirror I saw my differently colored eyes, my somewhat thing frame, and my dark brown hair that dipped just below my eyebrows. I wasn't insecure about my body, but I didn't think a tattoo would go well with it. I examined the closed up holes where my piercings had once been, then stuck out my tongue and imagined a tongue piercing. I shivered and threw on my pajamas before I could imagine that dreadful sight anymore.

People like Sapnap can pull off that look. I'm more of a "sweaters and high top converse and rolled up jeans" kind of person. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard my roommate laughing loudly, and I knew he was talking to his friends again.