poisonous love

chapter 15

                                                                           May 9, 1999

when i say i know im mental i know i am. im not dumb, well atleast i dont think i am, i saw bjork, jan, and anders again after years they are all my bestfrieds but something about them numbed me. maybe the screaming that flooded our house everynight in 1991 fucked with us alot. jan always sticked with me so when i moved to iowa it was hard. and we hated it. jan and me arent from norway but from riverside california. i was born in italy, grew up in riverside, as a teen moved to norway with jan met anders and bjork, moved back to riverside with jan to finish our last two years of highschool, and then i went to iowa. two weeks after pelle died i moved to iowa, shit was too stressful. ive always been wih jan but i dont think joey understands it. we leared about eachother weirdly. we didnt tell eachother about ourselves but we had to learn about eachother. so he doesnt know about jan and how much we have stuck together.

they lost the house in norway so they moved to iowa. i think. they all want me to move in with them but jesus chirst i dont think joey likes that idea scince weve known eachother for 8 years and dated for 3. anyways im going to meet joeys band for the fist time which should be interesting? i mean shit what if they dont like me? ugh whatever fuck this shit.

She threw the book knowing it would make her stress out a bit to much, she swung her feet over the bed earing a stabbing pain through her back causing her face to wrinkle up the fuck was that.. o whatever she walked to the bathroom only to look at the mirror in disgust. the circles under her eyes were darker then her hair, her cheeks had sucken in, and she looked skinnier then normal?

It's just how life goes being mentally ill I guess? The pills sunk into her stomach as her vision went blurry 'you look dead to cope with wanting to be dead' haha Jan always used to tell her that when people would get scared seeing her because she looked like a walking corpse,, she actually felt idk happy? She picked up the knife that had sat on the counter, pressing it to her wrist and throwing her head back.

Knocking came from the door causing her to drop the knife resulting in a stabbing pain shoot through her foot, causing her to shriek at the blood that formed around her foot

"Sage?" Paul called from behind the door

"Yeah, I'll be right there" she stuttered out grabbing the counter before unlocking the door, swinging it open almost hitting Paul with the door

"What the fuck happened?" He exclaimed as she fell back down

"Paul what the fuck does it look like! Just call Joey or Jan just fucking one of them"

this was going to be a long fucking day.

joeys flip phone started to ring causing him to groan since it was 9am in the morning

"Hello?" He answered his phone annoyed

"Joey, it's Paul sage just skinned her fucking wrist and stabbed her foot. She wanted me to call you or Jan" he spoke in worry

great.

"Are you fucking kidding? I'll be there in 5." he said hanging up his phone running his hands through his hands in stress he wasn't mad at her or annoyed with her just.. disapointed?

he through on the closest clothes not caring if they didn't even match she was on his mind and only her, he was concerned as fuck. He didn't bother to drive just jog. and he ran just as fast as his legs would carry him. and so he ran all the way to his bestfriend and girlfriends apartment.

his hands fumbled in his pockets trying to find his keys to the apartment his hands spoke as the cries of a woman got louder, and louder. The door to the apartment responded with a loud click as he pulled the door open