As the Crow Flies

Death and Blame

Ranboo was about to head inside when he spotted Tubbo sitting on the bench again. That was the third time this week he'd refused to come inside after dark. Ranboo grabbed a boat and rowed himself over to the iceberg.

"Hey." He said as he pulled up.

"Hey." Tubbo replied. He was holding a handful of pebbles and tossing them around the memorial.

"What'cha doing out here." Ranboo asked as he stepped onto the island.

"Thinking."

"Hmm." Ranboo stood awkwardly by the boat. It was freezing out now that the sun had gone down. He wanted to check on Michael and leave, but he couldn't just abandon Tubbo out in the cold. "How about we go inside?" He asked.

"I'm good." Tubbo responded as he tossed more pebbles. Ranboo sighed and took a spot on the bench next to Tubbo.

"I know you miss him, and it's ok to be sad. It's ok to want to cry about it." He said. Tubbo stopped throwing pebbles. His gaze never wavered from the memorial.

"I'm not sad Ranboo." Tubbo said. Ranboo didn't believe him. He'd seen Tubbo out here just sitting and listening to music almost every day. He needed to get Tubbo to open up.

"How can you not be sad? I'm sad and I wasn't nearly as close to-"

"Don't tell me how I should feel." Tubbo interrupted, his voice louder and darker than before. Ranboo watched as Tubbo's hands turned into fists. "Everyone thinks 'oh poor Tubbo why aren't you sad?' Well I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that everyone's been lying to me? Maybe it's the fact that Sam is still in charge of that place? Maybe it's because that guy is still alive? Maybe it's because my best friend is dead and there's nothing I can do about it? I don't know!" Tubbo threw all of his leftover pebbles at the memorial. Ranboo stayed silent. Tubbo needed this.

"I'm pissed off! This shouldn't have happened!" Tubbo paused and leaned back on the bench. "It's not fair. He died alone in that prison Ranboo. I didn't even- I didn't even get to say goodbye." Ranboo looked down at his hands and tried to hold back his own tears. He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep crying over Tommy. "You know, he was my best friend for a long fucking time. We went through so much shit with Dream, and Wilbur, and Schlatt. I thought it was over. I thought that we'd both move out here and get away from all the chaos." Ranboo looked over at Tubbo who was staring up at the sky. He watched as Tubbo's face darkened. "But Tommy just had to visit that guy one last time." Ranboo stayed silent. He wasn't sure what to say to any of this, but he knew that it was good for Tubbo to finally be talking about it.

A long period of silence swept over them. The tired waves crashed against the shore. The wind whistled and bit at the tips of Ranboo's ears. He hoped that they'd go inside soon.

"I'm going to find him." Tubbo said, finally breaking the silence.

"Find who?" Ranboo asked. Tubbo bent down and picked up a stray pebble. He aimed for the memorial and threw it.

"The guy who caused the explosion." Ranboo's heart stopped. The pebble bounced of Tommy's engraved name and fell to the ground. "I'm going to find that guy, and I'm going to kill him." Ranboo felt like someone was squeezing his throat. His fingers twitched and his stomach felt sick. His head began to pound, as if something was trying to force itself in. Ranboo clutched his chest as the air in his lungs turned to water.

"Ranboo is something wrong?" Tubbo's voice sounded distant and echoey. Ranboo looked up at the diamond sky and a vision blinked amongst the stars. It was a smiley face. Ranboo's heart raced and the pounding in his head got louder. Panic crawled up his throat and into his mind, completely suffocating him.

"Ranboo?" Then Tubbo's voice brought him back. Ranboo's hands were shaking and his breath was catching up to him. "Are you ok?" Tubbo asked. Ranboo swallowed down the panic and tried to calm himself down.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He prayed that the lie didn't show in his voice. "We should go inside. It's too cold out here." He got up from the bench and walked over to the boat.

"You go ahead. I'll catch up." Tubbo said. Ranboo didn't want to leave Tubbo alone, but he couldn't stay. He needed to go somewhere secluded to try and calm down. "And Ranboo." Ranboo paused in his boat. "Be careful." Ranboo swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. Then he rowed himself back to shore.