Fades To Black (Complete)

April- The News

*Another mini book based off of one of my oneshots in COABB

*TW for death of a child and grief

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Shawn

I stare blindly at the man standing before me, his face ashen, and tense.

He's watching me as though he expects me to respond but I just gaze open-mouthed and know with a terrifying certainty that there is no possible response to the information he has just given me, and as my eyelids drop shut in a half hearted attempt to protect me from the truth an icy coldness begins to seep into my chest, a blood curdling trickle that warns me it is simply a precursor of the true devastation that is to come

"Mr. Mendes?"

My eyes snap open at the sound of my name and I notice his one, thick, grey eyebrow crinkle in the middle and realise that he's waiting for me to say something... but what?

What can he possibly think I have to say when with 2 words this stranger has just decimated my entire life?

I tear my eyes away from the man before me and begin to search the tiny, brightly decorated room with all of its frills and cushions and it's fake-cheeriness in some kind of manic desperation.

I'm looking for something I recognise, something I can cling on to whilst my life disintegrates right in front of me, but there is nothing here that can offer comfort or familiarity, instead, the devastation that surrounds me, simply causes my mind to go black

Somewhere to the right of me a sound escapes the lungs of my wife and I don't even need to look towards her to know she has crashed to her knees, the agonising noise that rips free of her chest causes my hands to shoot up and cover my ears as my knees weaken and I find I need the wall to keep all 6 foot two of me upright

"I know this is difficult..." The man in the white jacket looks briefly towards the woman now lying in an inconsolable heap on the floor as her mother crouches over her, her arms wrapped tightly around her tiny body as she attempts to provide some kind of comfort with her whispered words, but what comfort can you offer to a woman whose heart has just cracked open, and whose shattered soul is now leaking out in hysterical sobs, filling a room that was already at capacity? "Mr. Mendes?"

I turn to face the man again and he obviously thinks he has my attention because his face softens and his mouth opens as though he's about to speak, but in my mind I'm gone.

In my mind I'm no longer standing in this room, every inch of which will be etched on my brain for the rest of my life.

No, in my mind I've left this place and I'm somewhere more familiar... somewhere safe.

The scent of strawberry shampoo fills my senses as the feel of soft, warm skin soothes every inch of me.

The heat of sunlight burns my memory and just as I squint my eyes against it the sweetest giggle breaks through the silence of my mind.

I try to force my eyes to open but all it does is push the sound of her voice further from me, I try to part my lips and whisper her name but my mouth is so dry that no words form, I hear the laughter once again but this time it's no more than a whisper in my mind, I try to reach out, to hold on to it but she's just beyond my grasp and I feel my heartbeat triple as the panic begins to set in

"Mr. Mendes..." the doctor's voice drags me violently back into my worst nightmare and as his hands come to rest on my shoulders I can't stop myself from pushing him away as the air around me thickens and I find myself struggling for breath.

I hear the gasps of surprise and I hear my father-in-laws heavily accented voice say my name but bitter bile is now flooding my mouth as the room lightens and begins to spin

"Shawn..." Sofis hand is on my shoulder but the sound of my name being forced out between her tear soaked sobs is too much for me to bear, I push myself from the wall that I have been using as a crutch and stumble forward in search of an escape route

"SHAWN!" my name crosses the lips of all 3 members of my wife's family simultaneously but it's not enough to stop the momentum that is now propelling me forward as I search desperately for a way to escape from this nightmare but as I reach for the handle I'm surprised as it turns and the door is pulled open.

The dark eyes that meet me remind me of my own as I looked into the rear view mirror of my car less than 30 minutes ago, frantic with concern yet shadowed by shock and fear

The familiarity I had been searching for so desperately is now staring into the room and as the colour drains from his face I realise he has just witnessed the devastation that I'm attempting to escape

"Shawn?"

What escapes my mouth sounds more like a hiccup than a word and I don't get the chance to rectify it because before another sound can cross my lips, my fathers arms are around me, I try to fight against them, afraid of what the comfort will unleash but he wont let go, I force myself to say his name but his grip doesn't loosen and I feel myself beginning to unravel

"It's going to be alright..." He lies

All right?

I feel a bubble rising in my chest, swelling and growing until it fills every bit of the cavity and crushes my heart against my rib cage

All right?

I feel an intense heat on my face as my eyes begin to burn, everything in the room falls silent as I hear the Doctors words replaying over and over in my mind and each time they play they penetrate a little deeper

'I'm sorry Mr. Mendes, we did everything that we could but by the time she got here it was just too late...'

The bubble in my chest now feels as though it has become wedged in my throat as I struggle to catch my breath as I fight the intense waves of nausea that are battering my insides

'I'm sorry... your daughter is gone'

Gone?

The word rattles around my brain, replaying over and over until it sounds like some foreign word that I don't understand

Gone?

My daughter?

Minha filha?

My baby?

...My Elena?

Gone?

My mouth drops open in what I can only describe as a 'silent scream', as my arms stop fighting against my fathers grip and instead reach up and grab at my brown curls

Gone?

The last thing I hear is the sound of the human soul, screaming out in a terrifying echo of devastation and desperation, the agonising forced separation of a parent and their child as my whole world grinds to a silent standstill and then fades to black

* I know the topic is dark but I hope to move through the story showing light and hope alongside it