I quickly rung up the Szechuan place and made it two. I looked like a mess. I wiped the crust from eyes and hurried to the bathroom. I pushed my boobs back into place after it slipped out of my bra from hours of laying around. Fixed my makeup, brushed my hair, the usual girl shit. I pushed all the books and papers I had lying around to a corner. God I'm a wreck. I need to seriously clean.
Why the fuck did I invite him over! I'm not ready for this. I should call and cancel. No, he's on his way, I can't do that.
Fucking breathe.
I saw a holistic therapist for a few months last year. When I came to her as an anxious mess she would just tell me to chill. Like my overthinking was a fact that I was not aware of. She also told me that life will continue regardless of whether this is goes well or not. That's what I'm telling myself right now.
I continued fixing myself up until I heard a knock. My heart beat accelerated. I took a breath before opening the door which didn't seem to do much. He stood there with on hand in his pockets and another holding a paper bag.
"Is that liquor?"
"It's cookies and hello to you," he laughed.
He took his hand out of his pocket to awkwardly give me a side hug. He wasn't too tall but a good few inches from me. As soon as my head grazed his chest I was immediately transported to the evening of the wedding, when we slowly waltzed together. I shook that off quickly. I opened the door fully to let him walk through.
"I don't think I've seen your new place."
"Eh not much of a difference but rent is cheaper and better heating."
He looked at the walls of the narrow hallway until he reached the living room.
"Sit, sit," I gestured.
He took his leather jacket off. He looked like someone's father. He had a blue sweater on. He wasn't as neat and groomed as before. I don't want to say that he let himself go, as Angela would insist, but was more na-
"Lucia?"
Oh god have I just been standing there? I've become increasingly delusional.
I quickly sat down and assured him I was just trying to recall something. A half ass excuse at best.
"So what did you order to eat?"
"I hope you like spicy food because I ordered Szechuan."
"I have not had Szechuan but you know I love spice."
"Ok but this is really spicy. I'll pray for your Irish stomach."
He chuckled and sat down on the opposite couch. He stretched his legs like a man and laid his arms out.
"You know when we were in Morocco we had this shakshuka everyday. It had this little chili flakes on it. I was in the bathroom for a good period of that day."
I nervously laughed at that. I need some class.
"Oh I'm a bad hostess. Do you want anything to drink? Water? A beer? I'll get you some milk with the food."
"Just a beer thanks."
I quickly got up to the kitchen and retrieved two Coronas. I tossed him one which he just barely caught.
"Have you been to the Met since you've been back? They're having an exhibition with Frida Kahlo's works. I think it's a part of a press thing for the movie."
"No, no I haven't. What movie?"
"The Frida movie. With Salma Hayek and Alfred Molina?"
He shook his head.
