If Only (Hosie <3)

fourteen - the darkness

Josie
I had went against all my morals. I had banished a person to the darkness. The Josie I remembered never would have done that. But I wasn't the Josie I remembered. Love had changed me.

Jealousy had changed me.

I wasn't the same person when I was around Hope. I was a better person, in some ways, worse in others. I loved her. It changed me.

So when Landon had shown me he wanted Hope back, I didn't see another option. But now, I was regretting it. I was once stuck in that never ending darkness, and had sworn to never go back there. But then I sent Landon there. The only way to get him out was to go in there myself.

But I couldn't. I would have to find a different way. There was no way I could go in there again. I'd be swallowed up by the darkness.

Honestly, I wasn't too upset by the thought of Landon going there. I was mostly upset by the thought of what Hope would think. God, who was I turning into?

I continued sorting the grimoires I had used to put Landon into my darkness, when Hope entered the room.

"Hey babe!" She sprinted over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I smiled, and turned around to kiss her. But she was already laying on the bed. Hope was swinging her feet in the air, head perched on her hands.

Josie sat next to her, and started braiding Hope's hair. "Do you ever do something that seemed okay, justified, in the moment, but then regretted it later?" Josie still had to ask, even though she thought of Hope as near perfect.

Hope laughed a bit. "Of course. Everyone does. All you can really do is try to fix it." Hope shifted to face Josie, seeming to sense the tone of her voice.

"Josie, what's wrong?" Hope took Josie's hands. "What happened?"

Josie almost spilled her guts to Hope, right then, and right there. "I..took my sister's favorite sweater, and..I guess I just regret it." Josie could tell Hope didn't believe a single word she said, but she dropped it.

As the days went on, Hope had more and more sleepless nights. Josie didn't know what she was thinking about, but she knew it was bad. Josie herself didn't seem to be having many nice nights, either. She had nightmares about Landon. Where he was, and what she'd done to him.

She flashed and whirled around in nightmares. Landon's face, taunting her and telling her it was all her fault he was in pain. She often thought about how much she would have given to never send Landon to that darkness.

As it became apparent she wasn't going to find a spell to find Landon in the darkness, she knew she had to do something other than read these tediously long books. She knew what she had to do.

Josie had to tell Hope.