Loving the Unloveable

The Very Beginning for Lillian

"Lillian get your ass in here" her mother yelled for her as soon as she was wrapping up her chores. As Lillian walked into the house she was struck in the face. "You worthless bitch can't you do anything" her mother continued yelling, "I am so ashamed to call you my daughter. I should have aborted you when I had the chance. No wonder your father left before you were born." She continued. Lillian laying on the ground sobbing from the pain of being struck in the face but from the hateful words coming from her mother. "Mom what did I do wrong?" Lillian managed to get out. As soon as she asked she was kicked in the stomach. Lillian laid there softly crying she knew her mother was drunk. This happened once to twice a week since she was old enough to talk when her mother wasn't able to get a date because she had slept around so much she was known as the town whore. The only time any man called on her was a cheap thrill or to use her to get to Lillian. Teachers would see the marks and gossip about it but never report it. "What did you do wrong? You breathing is wrong. Get off the floor and cook dinner.", her mother commanded as she walked to the fridge to grab another beer. As Lillian let the pain subside just a bit she pushed herself off the floor. This was the only chance she had to escape her mother. As she cooked dinner she added the sleeping pill she had crushed a few days before and put into the food. Watching her mother devour the meal all she could do was sit and wait. Lillian was 21 but her mother kept her there, promising things would change and she knew if she didn't leave now it was just going to continue. As soon as she was asleep Lillian packed her bags and loaded them into the car. All Lillian ever done was work and go to school and work when she got home. Luckily she never listened to her mother when she bought the car and put it in her own name. Her mother had a way with her she could never tell her no. This time was different Lillian had enough. She needed to get far away no matter where it took her, however there was one place she knew she wanted to go. Even though she had so many insecurities she was a great student and so smart. She always wanted to go to NYU. She was accepted for the next school year and that's where she knew she had to go. School just ended for her for the summer. So she knew she had plenty time to get to New York and settle in and find a paying internship.