Black Hawk

Part 5: Adjusting

Bucky
Rose has been staying here at the compound with us for the past 3 days. Despite putting on a brave face, I can tell she has been struggling. Over the past few days she has only left her room to come down and train. I guess it was a good way to distract herself, it was the same for me when I was first freed from that hell hole. She's barely been eating and I can hear her pacing instead of sleeping at night. If it's anything like how I was her mind will be going crazy now that she has control over it herself, not to mention getting all of her memories back. It's overwhelming.

This morning Rose is downstairs in the training room carrying out various workouts. Unknown by her, there is a window looking into the training room that isn't visible from where she is stood. I followed her down here, I can't take my eyes off her, I need to make sure she is okay. She's been down here a while, I'm not too sure how long. Nat came and joined me a couple of minutes ago but she hasn't said anything and I've barely acknowledged she's here. She simply watches her just as I do.

"I'm worried about her Nat. She spends most of her time down here training and she is barely speaking to anyone. I just want to help her." I tell Nat. The whole team know how worried I am about Rose, I've barely spoken to any of them the whole time she has been here. She is my sole focus.

"I know Buck, but she just needs time adjusting to everything, just like you did. She will speak to you when she's ready." she reassures me. "Come on. Rhodey, Wanda, Pietro and Peter should be back soon, so we should enjoy the last of the peace."   I know she is right and she will speak to me when she's ready but I just need to help her. For now I'll just leave her to train and go up to greet the others.
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Rose
My mind is a blur, it's like all of my memories are mushed into one big tale. I re-wrap my knuckles before heading over to the punching bag hanging in the middle of the room. Working out is the only thing that is helping me manage all of these feelings hitting me as my memories slowly untangle. As I begin to strike the bag my mind starts flooding with memories. I'm suddenly back strapped to a chair screaming in pain as they start injecting me. Each flash of that painful memory comes back I hit the bag harder. Each time they injected me, each time they struck me, each time they sent me back into the cryo-chamber; I hit the bag harder, harder, harder. I remember how the agent would hold the towel over my face before hitting me with the baton using all of his strength. I struck the punching bag over and over again. I can't think about anything else. A large smack snaps me out of my trance and see the punching bag I was just striking laying on the floor against the wall on the opposite end of the gym.

I stand panting heavily, staring at the bag I've just ripped off it's chains, trying to calm myself. "Why can't they just stop" I whispers to myself as I feel the tears come to my eyes. Gradually my breathing becomes steadier and I grab another punching bag and set it up. I spend around another hour training before I head up to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. As I enter the kitchen, I'm greeted with some unfamiliar faces.

"Oh hey, you're Rose right? Tony told me about you." the man says. "I'm James Rhodes, but you can call me Rhodey."
I feel awkward with them looking at me so hesitantly answer him, "Uh, yeh nice to meet you."

"Erm hi. I'm Peter, Peter Parker" the small brown haired teenager beams enthusiastically.
I can't help the small smile that played across my lips at this bright youthful boy , "It's nice to meet you Peter Parker."

As I finish speaking, two more people enter the kitchen. This time a young man and young woman. The young woman's face dropped as she looked at Me. "Pietro it's her!" she exclaims, as I'm all of a sudden being lifted off of the ground. It's like I'm being restraint by some invisible rope.

I'm simply hovering in the air unable to move due to the what I'm assuming is the woman's powers due to the red gleam now visible in her eyes. Wait... those eyes, they look familiar. "Erm, Mr Stark!" Peter shouts as him and Rhodey watch in shock.

Within a few seconds the kitchen is now flooded with the others, all looking at me suspended in the air. "Wanda, what are you doing, calm down." Nat says to her, the confusion clear on her face.

"She's with Hydra, she's their top soldier!" the young man who's name I'm still uncertain of says with a scared expression covering his face.

Tony looks to them both, "She's not with Hydra anymore so Wanda let her go!" he demands.

Not taking her eyes off of me the woman, Wanda, responds, "At Hydra, when I looked into her head all I saw was darkness and all of the memories of the pain she had inflicted on other!" And that's when it hits me. They were there. Prisoners at Hydra. Experiments. Oh those poor kids, their twins, I remember it now. Wanda and Pierrot Maximoff, the only successful candidates of Von Struckers experiments.

"Well why don't you put her down and look again and tell us what you see." Steve calmly says to Wanda.

Wanda listens to Steve's words and places me back on the floor before beginning taking a deep breath and focussing on me again. I don't want her to see in their, I don't want them to know. As she begins her search through my mind, my eyes snap shut and all of the memories I've been trying to suppress come back in flashes. Some of me crying and screaming from when I regained control over my body and all the guilt flooded my emotions. Others of me crying and screaming as I was tortured by HYDRA. Suddenly the memories stop and I'm brought back to the present. My eyes open again and lock with Wanda's as I see her hand rise to cover her mouth in what I'm imagining is shock. "I...I'm sorry for everything I did to you both" I say to the twins as tears gather in my eyes.

I can't hold them back. The tears begin gushing down my cheeks and I can't stop them. I can feel all of their eyes on me, especially his. I don't want them to see me like this; all weak and broken. I quickly leave the kitchen and rush up to my room and lock my door behind me. I can't do this anymore. It's all too much! All of the guilt of the things I have done over the years is consuming me. I fall to the floor cradling my head in my hands as I sob uncontrollably.

I don't know how long I've been up here before I hear soft knocking on the door. "Hey doll, it's just me. Can I come in?" I hear Bucky ask. He's the only person I want to see right now. I need him. "O...ok" I say trying to stop my tears momentarily as I move to unlock my door and let him in.