The Archer [Zuko]

➳ 9 ➳

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I guess I was still very surprised that Zuko and I kissed. More than that, though, I was surprised by the warm feelings traveling through my body throughout the night. Somehow, Zuko had awakened the side of me that I have shut away from the rest of the world: my want to find happiness, not in just myself, but in other people that I surround myself with. This is what I have always wanted, ever since I was a little girl. But I know I can't have it. I'm too far into this job to even think about turning back from it now.

Besides, there's no possible way for me to try to find happiness with these people here. Azula is not one I want to spend a lot of time with because she is diabolical and so very cunning. I don't want her to see through me at any point in this operation, so I need to distance myself from her. I also don't want to spend time with Mai because she has always hated me and why would I want to waste my time with someone who brings my mood down? Ty Lee, on the other hand, is a different story. I find myself wanting to spend more time with her because she's simple and nice and full of love. She's the best person here. Zuko is someone else I want to spend more time with, but it's not because I find him nice. It's because he's my easiest option of finding the jeweled bow. He's always one foot out of the gate, so I will definitely use that to my advantage. I just hope that I won't find happiness with him.

It's not that I'm nervous about finding happiness with other people instead of just me, myself, and I. It's just that I don't want to rely on other people. I have always been so independent, and I don't want that to change. Besides, no one understands me like I do. They wouldn't understand why I steal. They wouldn't understand why I hate being with other people. They wouldn't understand why I am so much better alone. They can't understand me, and that's okay. I don't mind. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

The palace feels so stifling to me. Maybe it's because it holds so much evil in it. Or maybe it's because it holds people that could be my undoing. Either way, I need to get out and spend a little time outside in the fresh air. I don't think I've spent this much time in a single place, let alone a building. My whole life I've spent outside, and if I was inside, it was because I needed to sleep. Otherwise, I was out in the woods or in the small towns that surrounded the Stronghold.

My feet know their way around this place better than my mind does. They lead me toward a set of doors that I haven't seen in such a long time. When I stayed here while I was a little girl, I used to walk around this whole place at night because I couldn't sleep. I hated it here, and I didn't want to fall asleep just in case someone came into my room to hurt me. I really didn't trust anyone then, just like I don't trust anyone now. I guess I haven't really changed much since I was little.

A cool breeze blows through my cape as I step outside. The early morning sun is slowly rising above the claw-like mountains that surround the city, having reds and oranges cascade across the otherwise gray-blue sky. It's going to be a nice day today, I just know it.

The tall green grasses sway in the small breeze like tiny little dancers. I trail my fingers through it as I pass by. It's so peaceful out here, and I love it. I have always loved it, even when I was little. I always used to come out to this little grassy area at the back of the palace. The stone walls that surround the palace are farther away than they normally are, so it gives me a little room to breathe. And it also gives me a little room to practice with my bow and arrows.

There's a tree to my right, so I set my sights on one of the highest branches on it. Most people wouldn't be able to embed their arrows into the small branch, but I know I can. The arrow sails through the air, glinting in the early morning sunlight. Suddenly, the base of the arrow waves from side to side as it impales the branch. It doesn't fall down to the ground, so I know that it is stuck up in there, which is what I wanted in the first place. However, I'm soon realizing that I shouldn't have gotten it stuck up there because now I have to climb the tree to get it back. I don't have enough arrows to lose any right now, so I need to get it back before I lose it up there.