Once In A Blue Moon

21 Affection

Whatever happens to you has been waiting to happen since the beginning of time.

— Marcus Aurelius

☾

"Glory be to You, O Allah (SWT), and all praises are due unto You, and blessed is Your name and high is Your majesty and none is worthy of worship but You."

Your brother has a history of chronic smoking, Dr. Humayun.

Her heart wails in agony at afflicting memories but she continues despite the pain embedded like an arrow in her bosom.

"In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful."

Her lips move, her eyes remain downcast fixed on the prayer mat, and she replays the translation of the Arabic prayer in her mind which she has memorized as she recites in a lowered voice.

"[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord of the worlds. The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Sovereign of the Day of Recompense. It is You we worship and You we ask for help. Guide us to the straight path. The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have evoked [Your] anger or of those who are astray."

She had asked Parisha to teach her to pray. Her sister was the only reliable person to help her with this. And just like Zoraiz had asked her, she was trying to find God, start again, here with His remembrance, hoping He would hear her out and help her out of her suffering.

"Say: He is Allah, the One and the Only God, the Eternal, the Absolute. He begets not. Nor is He begotten. And there is none like Him."

Six years ago, he was treated for mild liver cirrhosis due to chronic alcoholism.

She bows down, placing her hands on her knees. "Glory be to my Lord, the Almighty." She stands back straight. "Allah hears those who praise Him. Oh our Lord, all praise is to You."

When you run to your Lord, He never denies you.

She blinks and the first tear slowly creeps down her cheek. Zoraiz words stay with her.

Here. This is where you start searching for Him. Qalb (heart). This is where you Find Him if you're devoted.

She feels her heart beating under her hands like a galloping horse. She tries to find God there, and more tears follows. She falls into prostration.

"Glory be to my Lord, the Most High."

She stays in prostration a long time, finding solace there from the events of the past few days.

Doctor, Mr. Zoraiz Humayun has past medical history of lung cancer, that too being treated for six years back. It was diagnosed in earlier stages so the prognosis was good. But he was given strict instructions to quit smoking for his well being. His follow ups showed improving results. He recovered fine.

She sits up from her prostration and continues the prayer to its end. When she finishes it, she keeps sitting on the prayer mat, not knowing how to put her anguish into words and ask God for its relief. There has only been a very few rare occasions she has raised her hands in supplication. It feels foreign to her.

But we're afraid he gave into his addiction again and his cancer has relapsed. We'll run some investigations and perform his lung biopsy before giving you a confirmed diagnosis.

She raises her hands to her face for prayer, her tears never stopping to flow. "I don't think You need my words to know what I feel. I know You already know and I'm glad that You do, because I've no words for what I'm feeling right now." She sniffs and closes her eyes. "Yesterday when I came back home, I was broken, in every way. But I think I always have been-- emotionally and spiritually. And Lord, dear Lord, how much more lost could I've been than how I've spend my whole life? Without You. Because I thought I had everything, just not peace. And I've realized now that the peace I never had is actually everything. And I'm so poor-- I've nothing."