The GEEKs

9. girl problems and peanuts

"What's going on?" Sean walks into the excuse for a living room of our apartment and squeezes his ass between an armchair and my sister. Now I know Melinda is an adult, kind of, and I have no problem with her doing...things...which she does with Sean now, but this is still the reason I don't really like hanging out around here much. I accept the fact that they lead a fulfilling sex life, but I don't want to actually listen to it when they do that. And it seems like Layne's been spending a lot of time at Demri's place too lately, so I guess it's mostly Jerry, Sean, and Melinda reigning over this hole. Good for them.

"Mike's about to call his blonde lady friend but he doesn't know what he's gonna say."

"I just don't see why I need special preparations before calling my...uh...Gwen."

"Maybe because your uh Gwen will want to know what your deal is?" Mel mocks me with a stupid wide eyed stare.

"I don't rehearse speeches before calling chicks, sis. I don't need to do that."

"Look, bro, have you been sleeping with her for more than a week?"

"Um... Yeah, but—"

"Well that's it then, she's gonna start asking. Are you gonna uhhh her too?"

I take my baseball cap off and scratch my head with my eyes darted to a red telephone in my lap before looking at Mel again. "That doesn't even make any sense, stupid. Who says a week is some sort of trial period?"

"Only every girl ever?"

"Yep, that's how she tied me down too." Sean pats my sister's head and I roll my eyes.

This is bullshit, Gwen has not said anything once, we're just having fun. Everything's going fine, I like her, I spend a shitload of time with her, it's very simple. So why should I have to start making up fucking definitions and stuff all of a sudden? If I go on and make this exclusive I automatically have to say 'no' to every girl out there. Not that I'm currently sleeping around or anything, but like a little innocent fun never hurt no one.

"From what I hear, she's not into fuck buddies, so you better have something ready when you call her or she'll dump your ass faster than the speed of light." Mel goes on.

"How do you know what she's into?"

"I know a girl who works with her and girls talk and then gossip."

"Very trustworthy source of information." Sean drawls with a smirk.

"I'm sure. Look, all your word diarrhoea right now... That doesn't fuckin' mean anything. If she asks I'm just gonna tell her uh, you know, just how it is."

"So...we're getting drunk tonight then?"

"What?" I try to make sense out of Sean's question but something just doesn't click.

"She's gonna dump your fucking ass so fast and you're really into that chick, so I'm assuming there's gonna be a need for alcohol."

"She's not gonna... We're not even together, how can she dump me?"

"Wow. You are pretty much constantly surrounded by girls but it's like you know literally nothing about us." Mel offers me her insight again.

"First of all, I really don't want to know anything about you in particular. And just, you know, don't worry about me and Gwen or whoever else, I got this."

"He's got this." Sean echoes my statement and Mel finally seems to give up.

But um, maybe I won't call Gwen right now, I don't have to do that right at this moment. It wasn't even anything important that I wanted to tell her, I was just gonna call because that's what girls like; attention and all that stuff. Actually, calling's probably not that good of an idea, I should just go see her. Girls love that even more, and ironically, we don't do as much talking face to face. Yeah, I should just drive over there and we can hang out and not ask questions like we usually do. Yeah.