Nightingale's Song (My MCU #3)

Chapter 16

A/N: And this is the end. Anna and Bucky along with everyone else will return in My MCU book 4 coming in the future. 

***

It had been just over a week since Anna met with the Doctor. Slightly less than four days since he quit talking. He, along with the information he'd provided, had been turned over to SHIELD. Even with the man who haunted her nightmares no longer on the premises, Anna still didn't want to be alone.

Instead, she clung to her friends. Sam didn't want to have anything to do with her and she tried not to be hurt when he'd give her a disgusted look and leave the room when she came in. But the others seemed to know what she needed and were happy to provide it. Steve, of course, was there more than anyone. Always making sure he was right beside her anytime they were in a room together.

Bucky no longer avoided or ignored her, but he sure wasn't talking to her either. He'd sit at one side of the room, his gaze following her as she moved. His eyes never leaving her as she curled under Tony's arm or leaned into Steve's side. He worked a muscle in his jaw as he watched the way his best friend and his best girl seemed to flow together. The way they anticipated each other's needs. The way they seemed to no longer need him.

Unable to watch any more, Bucky pushed himself up from the chair and stormed off to his room. It wasn't long before there was a knock at his door. He answered it and frowned when he found Steve on the other side. "What do you want?"

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. "I want you to quit acting like a jackass but I suppose that's too much to ask for."

Bucky just looked at him without saying anything. He didn't want to deal with this shit. Especially not from Steve the traitor.

"You haven't said a word to her in months. Until this week, you barely even looked at her when you were in the same room. We rescued her from that facility and the first words she says are that you're alive. She makes a plan to save your dumb ass before she's even given herself time to adjust to not being a prisoner any more. Even after all this time, you were her priority. Meanwhile, you don't give a shit about her."

Bucky shoved Steve out of the doorway and down the hall. "Don't," he all but growled.

Steve planted his feet so Bucky couldn't push him any further once they reached the wide space where the hall dumped out into the living room. "Don't what, Buck? Don't tell you that while you and I got to sleep away most of the past 70 years, she didn't? Don't tell you the ways she resisted them so they wouldn't hurt you? Or maybe don't remind you that you promised her forever and your forever seems to have an expiration date?"

"Don't pretend that you have any idea how I feel about her. Don't even begin to think that you have any idea what it's like to murder the person that means the most to you. All the shit I did, all the blood on my hands and that's the one thing I can't live with. I won't. She deserves so much better than that. Than me." Bucky's words were sharp, angry and hot tears ran down his face.

Steve sighed. "That wasn't you. That was them. She knows that. Everyone seems to know that but you. And she doesn't want anyone other than you, but if she did are you really going to be able to stand back and watch it happen?"

Bucky gestured angrily. "It already is happening. You think I don't see the way you two are always touching? Your little jokes and private conversations? I'm not an idiot."

"You are the biggest idiot on the planet if you honestly think that Anna and I are anything more than friends. We love each other like family, Bucky. I'm there for her because she needs someone. She's scared and touch-starved and hurting. She wants you, but since you've made it clear she can't have that, she turns to the rest of us. Me more than anyone because of our history." Steve had lost his anger, now the only thing left in his tone was an overwhelming amount of sadness. "At the very least, talk to her. She doesn't understand what she did wrong."

Bucky's eyes went wide and he shook his head. "She didn't do anything. She could never—"

Steve held up his hands to cut the other man off. "It's not me you have to convince, Buck."

***

Anna had retired to her floor not long after Bucky stomped off. She was just so tired of always having to keep it together. His repeated rejection of her was slowly killing her inside. At the moment she wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed and cry for three days straight. All the things Hydra had done to her paled in comparison to her losing Bucky for the second time. The irony that his rejection may prove to be far more permanent than his death wasn't lost on her.

She forced herself to have a sandwich with a glass of milk. After cleaning up her dishes, she headed to her room only be stopped on the way by the sound of the elevator arriving on her floor. She rolled her eyes and turned toward the sound fully expecting it to be Steve. When Bucky stepped out instead, Anna sucked in a much needed breath.

Tears instantly flooded her eyes and she shoved them away. Not now. Not yet. "Lost?" The bitterness in her tone surprised her.

He chuckled. "No, I'm not lost though I guess I deserve that." He gestured to the living room. "Can we sit?"

She shrugged but made her way over to sit on the sofa. Once he'd settled, she angled her body to face him better. "What is this, Bucky?"

He raked a hand through his hair. "This thing with us...me not talking to you, that's on me. Not you."

"Sure, I'd buy that if you were the same way with everyone else. But you're not. You're only that way with me and you should be more comfortable with me than everyone else. Just explain it to me, please."

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. "We're not a good fit you and I. Things have changed. We've changed. It's time to stop pretending like this will work."

She let the silence stretch as she counted to ten in her head. "Bullshit."

"Excuse me?" Bucky said, looking offended.

"That's bullshit and you know it." She got to her feet and glared at him, fists clenched at her sides. She was so tired of this. So damned tired of everything. "You know damn well that we're perfect together. We were when you proposed and we still are. So tell me what your problem is?" She was yelling by the end.

Bucky stood. His whole body trembled with his anger. "I. Killed. You. What part of that don't you understand? I slit your throat because they told me to. I left you to bleed out on the floor and I didn't even care. You should be terrified of me." A tear escaped his eye to run down his cheek and her heart clenched. "You should hate me."

She stepped toward him slowly, afraid he'd run off if she moved too fast. When she'd closed the distance between them, she ran her gaze over him. This was the closest she'd been to him in decades. She rested her hand against his cheek and he sucked in a breath. His eyes slipped closed and he leaned into her touch. His hand lifted to hers and held onto her wrist.

Her thumb traced his cheek and she stepped forward leaving only inches between them. "I could never hate you, Buck. Not in a million years."

His free hand settled at her waist and pulled her into him. He released her wrist and moved his hand to settle against the side of her neck as he looked into her eyes. "I am so fucking sorry, Anna. For everything. I can never tell you how sorry I am."

"I'll accept your apology for ignoring me. For never coming home to me in the first place, but that's the only thing you need to apologize for. The rest of that wasn't you. I never once thought it was."

He wrapped her in his arms, holding her head against his chest as he gave her the embrace that was seventy years overdue. "I love you so much, Nightingale. God knows I don't deserve you, but I need you. I'll never leave you again. I swear it."

She leaned back to smile at him, ignoring the happy tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'll hold you to that, soldier." Then she pressed her lips to his. And as his fingers flexed against her and he tried to pull her even closer, she was home.