Nightingale's Song (My MCU #3)

Chapter 4

Anna wasn't certain how long they lay there. She knew it was dark. She assumed it was the same day. Surely, someone would have come for them if it wasn't. She sat up on the edge of the bed and attempted to run a hand through her hair. Appearances were the last thing she cared about at the moment.

"Are you okay?" Peggy asked from behind her.

"No." Anna dropped her head. She would never be okay again, she was certain of that. "I need to find Steve."

"Steve?" Peg sat up beside her. "He knows you didn't mean anything by what you said. Your heart's broken. You're allowed a few harsh words."

Anna shook her head. "Doesn't matter. This isn't how Buck would want it. He'd want me to quit crying and have a drink with his best friend so that's what I'm going to do."

It didn't take her long to find Steve sitting alone, head bent and bottle in his hand. As he heard the steps fall behind him he straightened in his chair a bit. "One of the things the serum affected was my metabolism. Apparently, I burn the alcohol off so fast I can't get drunk." He huffed a laugh.

"That sounds miserable if I'm honest," Anna responded.

Steve glanced over his shoulder in surprise. "Anna. I thought you'd be Peggy."

She shook her head. "Not put together enough." She sat in the chair beside him and gestured at the bottle. "Got one of those for your mate's best gal?" Her voice cracked a little at the end but she managed to keep it together.

Steve stood and fetched another glass, returning quickly. He filled it half-way and pushed it to her. She examined the amber liquid for a moment before picking up the glass and throwing it back. It burned in her throat and she made a face as she swallowed, but it would get the job done. "I'm sorry about earlier, Steve. It's not your fault."

He refilled her glass. "It is my fault, Anna. I couldn't save him. I let him fall."

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. She didn't know the specifics of how Bucky had died and she was fairly certain she didn't want to. Instead, she placed a hand on Steve's. "Did you shoot Buck?"

"What?" He scowled. "Of course not."

"Did you throw him off a cliff? Push him in front of a train?"

"Are you feeling okay, Anna? Maybe I should go get Peg." He looked her over as she shook her head.

"My point is that you didn't kill him, Steve. Being unable to save him and killing him are two very different things. I'd be a fool to think you wouldn't do anything in your power to save him. He would have done the same for you." A few tears leaked from her eyes, but she ignored them, instead keeping her gaze locked on her friend. He needed to know that she didn't blame him for any of it.

He placed his other hand on top of hers. "Thanks for that."

"You don't believe me, Rogers. I can see it in your eyes. But you will. Just you wait." She untangled their hands so she could take a sip of her drink.

The corner of Steve's lips curved into a slight smile. "That almost sounded like a threat."

"You better believe it, Cap."

***

For the next several months, Anna, Steve and Peggy were all but inseparable. If people thought it odd, they kept it to themselves. The trio knew that Bucky would want them to keep going. So, on the days when Anna struggled to pull herself from the bed—when it would be easier for her to stay burrowed beneath the covers and cry for love lost—Peggy would help her get herself together. And on the days when Steve disappeared and no one could find him, Peggy sent Howard to track him down and bring him back to them.

And no matter how much Steve wanted to hide away, he always came back because he knew Bucky would want him to take care of Anna. And Anna always found a way to make it through the day because she knew Bucky would want her to take care of Steve. And Peggy took care of them both because that's who she was. She took care of the ones that needed it, deserved it. And no one fit that bill right now more than Anna and Steve.

Steve was preparing to leave on another mission and the women had come to see him off as usual. Anna stayed back and let Peggy and Steve have their moment. When they finished, she stepped forward and pulled the chain from her neck. Her engagement ring caught the light and sparkled as she held it up.

He shook his head as he placed the chain and ring around his own neck. He'd long ago ceased arguing with her about giving it to him for missions. He made certain it was secured beneath his uniform. "I'll bring it back to you," he said as he always did.

"You better, Rogers. That's why I give it to you, so you have a reason to come back."

"As if you and Peggy weren't enough of a reason." He grinned at her and gave a little wave before hurrying off to join the rest of his team.

***

Howard was the one that told her Steve wasn't coming home. He swore he'd keep looking, that they'd find him, but what good would it do. Super soldier or not, no one could survive in the conditions he went down in for long. Anna simply nodded her head as if she agreed it was a fine idea and went off in search of Peggy.

Peggy sat in the dark on the side of her bed. Her hands were folded together in her lap. Anna paused in the doorway for a moment, letting her eyes take in her friend's grief and her already tender heart broke a little more. She stepped into the room and shut the door behind her before taking a seat beside Peg.

Neither of them said anything as Anna reached over and took one of Peggy's hands into her own. She laced their fingers together in silent support. Peggy squeezed Anna's hand as a strangled sob left her. The two sat like that for hours, both lost in their own memories. Two war widows who never got to marry their soldiers.