Overdose (BXB) Completed/Editing

Chapter 22 - Home

Overdose - Chapter 22

-Alex-

I was wrong. Rehab wasn't a complete nightmare. It wasn't an all-inclusive getaway, but it was, for lack of a better word, enlightening. For six weeks, I learned how to function without drugs and alcohol in my system. I learned how to fall asleep and stay asleep which was harder than it sounds. I talked about things that I had never dared to say out loud to a stranger who in the end became a sort of human diary. She didn't oversimplify the things that I've been through, she allowed me to speak when my throat was overflowing with words and she allowed me to stay silent when fear wrapped its hands around my mouth, preventing me from telling the truth about myself.

I'm not sure if it was the pay difference that made her better than the school counselor my dad forced me to see but she was phenomenal. She understood as if she'd lived in my skin for a day and saw things through my eyes. I won't say I'll miss rehab, but I'll miss Dr. Sicard. She made it all less unbearable.

Am I "cured"? Absolutely not. There isn't a cure for me, but I am better. Less of my mind is occupied with my inability to save myself. I spend less time thinking about the past and more time imagining what my future might look like if I stay on track. In the last six weeks, I've allowed myself to dream of the future instead of having nightmares of the past.

I deserve happiness. Happiness doesn't come from a bottle, a pill, a powder, or a needle. I once declared that I am unfit for a happy life given the circumstances of my past but as of late, I've been trying to recant that statement. I was not of sane mind.

"Alex!" My dad's voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I turn towards the door. The smile plastered on his face offers me a welcome as warm as a July afternoon. I smile and walk toward him. Without sparing a second, he pulls me into a hug that I can only describe as breathtaking. He smells like home. "Oh, I missed you, kiddo!" He cheers before pulling back and examining my face.

"I missed you too dad."

He pauses for a moment and stares at me with teary eyes before pulling me back into a hug. "I'm so proud of you, Alex. More than you'll ever know," He mumbles over my shoulder. I nod as warm tears find their way out of my eyes and onto my dad's coat. "Let's get you all signed out and then we can head home," he says, ruffling my hair before walking over to the front desk.

I sigh with relief and turn towards the doors. I'm not sure what awaits me outside of this building but I'm no longer afraid to face reality.

"Alex!" I hear Katie's voice call out from the double doors. Before I can turn to face her, she wraps her arms around me tightly. I chuckle and pat her arm lightly, "Were you trying to break my rib cage?" I ask turning around and giving her a proper hug. She laughs, "Sorry. I'm going to miss you! Here's my number if you ever want to hang out or something," she says before handing me a purple piece of paper which I'm sure she tore out of her journal.

At first, I found her to be very annoying and kind of intrusive. Despite my best efforts to keep her away, she wiggled her way past my barriers and became my friend. She, Marcus, and I spent many afternoons playing games in the lounge, talking about random topics, and drinking crappy hot chocolate from the vending machines.

"Thanks, I'll call whenever I get a phone," I slide the paper into my pocket as Katie gives me another hug. We say our goodbyes and I watch her walk out of the doors. "Ready to go home?" My dad comes up behind me and places his hand on my shoulder. "I've been ready to go home since you dropped me off, Dad."

He chuckles as we walk towards the doors. It has been snowing a lot for the past week, but it's just overcast. I'm sure it'll rain later but I'm glad it's not snowing. Once in the car, I slide the seatbelt across my chest and rest my head on the cold window. As always, my dad turns on the radio and lets smooth jazz play quietly. Words cannot describe how glad I am to finally be going home. At times it felt like the seconds were running like minutes and the minutes were running like hours. The clock became both my enemy and my friend.