Dusk (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 25 - Moonlight

I was nodding, my hands fidgeting before I noticed I'd stood there for too long without saying anything.

I quickly turned and opened my closet, searching for the folding mattress I'd stowed away months ago while I processed the thought of Rowan staying the night.

Rowan- who I'd kissed the last time we'd been in my room together.

I pulled the mattress out before my fingers thumbed through the sheets on the bottom shelf. I wanted to tell him to sleep on my bed. It was big enough for two, I was sure I could go the whole night without rolling into him. But I probably wouldn't be able to sleep knowing he'd be beside me either.

I couldn't. I couldn't risk the chance.

I silently walked to turn the lights off, and felt Rowan's gaze follow me before slipping back into my closet and tilting the door shut. I blindly reached for a clean shirt, changing into it and pulling on my pajama pants as quickly as possible. I hastily straightened myself before my head banged against the top shelf. I bit back a curse and prayed he didn't hear the commotion.

"You okay in there?" I squeezed my eyes shut in mortification and nodded, before realizing he couldn't see me.

"Yeah," I said, slipping past the door. "Just clumsy."

Rowan's eyes fell to my shirt, the corner of his lip curling upwards before traveling back to mine. I looked down, realizing too late that I was wearing the Creighton Basketball tee Erik had given me days before.

My face flushed furiously and I cursed myself for picking out my clothes in the dark.

"Oh, uh- Erik gave this to me," I babbled, unsure of where this was going. "For the game- didn't realize I still had it," -yes you did- "I'm..." My arms crossed over my chest and I stared at the floor, wondering if staying silent would be better.

"Looks good on you."

He said it so casually, and I wondered if he enjoyed watching my face go from pink to crimson. Maybe he was having a competition with himself; Let's see how red Evan can get before the night is over. His eyes flickered back to the window, the smile growing slightly.

"Thanks..." I cleared my throat, "uh, I'll sleep here," I motioned towards the mattress I'd unfolded to the floor. "You can have the bed." I said it without looking at him, still mortified and sure this night would haunt me for the rest of time.

I heard a light chuckle, and kept my eyes trained on the mattress.

"No," his tone was light, amused. "It's your house, you're sleeping in your own bed."

I felt uncomfortable. Sure, Alex had slept on it many times, but that was Alex. He'd happily sleep on a hardwood floor if he was drunk enough.

Just tell him he can sleep with you, in your bed.

But don't say it like that.

Friends sleep in the same bed all the time! Why is this so hard?!

Are we even friends?

After a moment of wishing the ground would just swallow me up whole and erase me from existence, I crawled into bed, nervously eyeing him. He'd reclined in my desk chair, his socked feet resting on the windowsill as he carefully watched the outside like a guard dog.

The pothos plant Lucy had strategically placed above the window hung over him like a curtain, it's leaves creating a mystical silhouette that made my wonder spike as I thought, this would make a great picture.