Walls | Larry Stylinson

Now What?

Harry avoided everyone and left the venue to call the driver. He saw the car coming in, and turned around to go back and get Louis, but he was already behind him. He didn't make any eye contact and went and sat in the car. Harry quietly entered too and sat next to him. 

There was pin drop silence in the car. None of the two said anything. Harry then texted Zayn about having left because Louis wasn't feeling well. Zayn texted back saying that Eleanor was looking for him along with their PA from modest. Harry asked him to cover up for them and he agreed. 

Louis' phone was still switched off, he didn't care about anything at this point. He was lost in another world. What in the God's name happened back at the terrace. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. He tried his best not to think but he just kept replaying everything in his head. His skin was tingling from the sensations it had felt minutes ago. He was thinking about Harry's thumb in his mouth, his green eyes staring at him intently and his gaze slowly moving down to his lips. He couldn't stop thinking about the softness of Harry's lips on his, Harry's hands on the back of his neck pulling him deeper in to the kiss. Louis' breathing became uneven and he realized he was actually turned on. He could feel hardness in his pants. He crossed his legs in shock. What the hell was happening. Why did he feel the way he did. 

Harry's mind was going crazy. Why couldn't he just control himself. He cursed himself for having done what he did. And that too when Louis had just had a freaking panic attack. He was supposed to take care of him, not take advantage of his vulnerability. He felt extremely guilty, but he didn't know if he should apologize to him right away. Louis didn't look like he wanted to discuss anything, he was staring out the window continuously. Maybe he should give him some space. He didn't even know if he was gay or.. . Well, who was he kidding, if Harry was in doubt up till now about his own sexuality, it was all clear today. 

Never in his life had Harry felt this wonderful, intense feeling after kissing a woman. The moment he heard Louis moan, he felt the strongest urge ever to taste someone's lips. He just couldn't stop himself. But his guilt was making his judgement cloudy. He was sure Louis did reciprocate the kiss. But....did he? Harry was so busy feeling Louis' face and neck with his hands and had the remaining focus was on sucking Louis' lips as much as he could that he didn't remember clearly what Louis was doing. However, Louis could have broken the kiss and pushed him away, he didn't. But the moment Harry had opened his eyes to look at Louis, he looked horrified. That's what Harry remembered most clearly. Louis' expression was of pure shock, his eyes were wide and he couldn't breathe. Harry felt horrible. 

Harry sunk his head in his hands. Louis looked at him through peripheral vision. They were both sitting on the back of the car. This was one of the most awkward rides of his life. They reached home, Louis didn't wait for Harry and walked quickly towards the entrance. He unlocked the door and practically ran straight to his room. Harry entered and wasn't surprised to hear Louis lock his room. He didn't know what to do. He walked up to his room to change. But he was extremely worried about him. 

Louis came to his room and took off his shirt and coat. He looked at his pants and saw he was extremely hard. He didn't understand this. He was supposed to be straight. He thought he had always just felt comfortable and cuddly with Harry because he really cared about him and was super close to him. And yet, he did know that sometimes he found Harry really hot. He did check him out from time to time, especially if he was working out at home, or roaming around shirtless. Louis entered his washroom, took off his remaining clothes and entered the shower. He looked down....still hard as a rock, he had to get rid of this. He started to touch himself slowly and forced himself to think of hot women, Eleanor even..anything. But his mind kept travelling back to a pair of green eyes staring at him, a thumb trailing his lower lip, a beautiful face leaning in for a kiss. He could almost feel those soft lips on his again. He closed his eyes, his hand movement became quicker on his dick. His mind wanted more, he started to think what else could those lips do? How would they feel on his neck, on his dick. The moment the thought crossed his mind he came. And he realized that he legit jerked off while thinking about his best friend. 

Louis went to the kitchen to look for something to eat. The pair had not had anything except drinks, the buzz of which was gone the moment they kissed. 
He found Harry in the kitchen, he was already boiling instant noodles. 

Harry looked at Louis with a poker face and then quickly looked away. Louis too stood awkwardly then walked towards the fridge to get water. 

"Hey, are you alright now?" asked Harry, finally breaking the ice.

"Yeah..yeah I am fine" said Louis pouring himself a glass of water, not looking at Harry. 

Harry served two plates of noodles at the kitchen table and sat at one end. He looked at Louis, waiting for him to sit. Louis understood he is not going to have food until he sat there with him. But he had various things going on his mind, he shut these thoughts and sat reluctantly grabbing his plate. 

"Since when is this happening to you Louis? And don't lie to me." said Harry, he had authority in his tone. 

"It's been some time" said Louis while focusing on his noodles and eating. He avoided Harry's direct gaze.

"How long?" demanded Harry

"Few Months"

"Six?" 

"Hmm.."

"Did you see someone for this? Do you know what's triggering all of this?" harry was getting impatient with Louis' hesitant answers. 

"I don't wanna talk about it. And I have help already. Thanks" said Louis now getting irritated. The truth is, he did go to the therapist once or twice but the solutions that she recommended were beyond Louis' control. He knew why all this was happening and what exactly was triggering it, but he lacked the courage to confront it and overcome it.

Harry placed his fork in his plate and firmly placed both his palms on the table in front of him. He started at Louis and proceeded; "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I?" Louis mumbled still avoiding Harry's gaze. 

"Damn it Lou! You know exactly why! I am worried about you. How often are these? What do you do? What would you have done today had I not reached in time?"

"Listen, I am not answerable to you. And if anything, you coming up to me today made things worse!" yelled Louis and immediately regretted his words. He looked at Harry and saw his expression change into guilt and regret. 

"I....Louis, about that..." 

"You just ask too many questions." Louis picked up his plate and got up to leave for his room. 

"Louis, I need to talk to you. Sit down" Harry said in a pleading voice.

"I need to be left alone" said Louis and left anyway.

Neither of the two could slept that night. They had no clue how to move forward from this point on.