"Do you remember me?" (killua x fem reader)

When it rains, it fucking pours

(This chapter will consist of a mental breakdown, just as warning)

Over the years I've learned to except that my parents won't be coming back...
But once and a while I feel as though I want to come back For the milestones in my life such as

When I graduated from high school or in a year when I graduate from collage

Sometimes I even wish my brother was here even though we never really got along

If I'm being honest I miss Gon and Paige both I haven't seen for over a year now and I wish they where here in my life

Killua has just reentered my life and I don't know how that's going to impact it

"Hey" killua says walking into the room

"Hi" I say back

"Btw I have classes tonight so I won't be back until around midnight, okay" he says

"Oh,yeah okay"

"Anyways got to run" he says grabbing his bag and running out the door

I love that man, I love him so much
But....

I don't know if he feels the same I mean he asked me on a date but still

Sometimes I wonder what I could have done differently in my life

I wonder if it would have turned out the same

I grew up in a household I'd like to say was normal, but I can't, because it wasn't

I was only little when my brother died at his funeral I didn't even cry people looked at me like I was some insane kid

Even the adults where crying, but I never shed a tear, not one

My parents disappeared shortly after and I haven't seen them since

To be honest I wonder if there dead

After my emotionlessness at my brothers funeral people saw me as insane

They claimed i had no emotion

That I had nothing In me but an empty void

I herd that everywhere growing up

"Oh look it's her"
"I herd she has no emotion"
"She's dead inside"

Truly the last one was true

When my brother died a small piece of me died too, we were never all that close but he helped me when I needed him

When I met killua it's almost as if he filled that space

So was I using him, was I using him to for fill my own trauma. What kind of person does that

The tears started flowing

All the years of people saying I had nothing in me I started to believe it

At this point I was sobbing, and I couldn't stop

I knew what I had done know and there was no way of going back and fixing it

I didn't even notice the time
That's when I herd the door open

'Oh shit' I thought

"Hey,hey what's wrong" killua said calmly

I couldn't face him not after I had realized what I had done

"I'm sorry" was all I was able to get out

"For what" he asked, gently sitting down next to me on my bed

"I- l-, I know what I did" I sobbed out

"What,what did you do" he did rubbing my back

"I'm sorry, I used you" I said

"Huh, what do you mean" he says looking at me

"I used you to fill the empty void that lurks within me" I said crying more

"No, no you didn't" he said pulling me into a hug

"But, but I did"

"But you didn't, you needed someone in your life to love you, and that's what I did, you didn't use me." He said giving me a small smile

"So, your not mad?" I asked genuinely thinking he would be mad

"Why would I be, I loved you, and I still do."
He said

I looked up at him, "really"

"Yeah" he muttered

"I still love you too"

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I wrote this during my history class and I'm pretty sure I missed something but this was more important

Anyways

Thanks for reading

(Edit, tysm for 168 reads)

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