Numb Addiction

c26- not an apology

DISCLAIMER: THIS BOOK IS NOT ADVERTISING DRUGS. I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH AND SPOKE TO PEOPLE ETC FOR DESCRIPTIONS. DRUGS ARE VERY BAD!!!

CONTAINS THE 100 SPOILERS LOL

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-LINAS POV-

Let me describe a comedown to you. I'm using the comedown from ecstasy, the horror I'm feeling now, as my example.

You have felt elevated and above the earth for hours- mystically happy, like the world is ethereal, and honestly you don't even feel real. Then slowly but surely, it wears off.

You go to sleep, slowly losing the amazing emotions you were experiencing, left with drowsiness and a bit of nausea from when you accidentally downed three bottles of WKD when you were high.

When you awake, nothing feels real.

When you awake, pain is your company.

I feel disassociated from the world, and I feel so so low, compared to the blissful time I had last night. You can never fully remember, just in snippets, but you remember that feeling and your body craves it.

As I brush my teeth, my body craves it.

Drugs are one of the most common things for someone to get addicted to- they can either make you feel numb, or numb your pain. A numb addiction, people would say sometimes.

However, I am not addicted.

I remember the first time I did ecstasy. I was young, I only started counting my age when I was like fifteen, but I remember being young. I already smoked weed, and that was enough for me, but my 'friend' encouraged me into doing so.

I woke up, craving it, and have done ever since.

I spit out my toothpaste and rub my red eyes, before splashing water over my face. I grab my phone out and email Miss Hammett to let her know I won't be in English, before emerging from the toilet.

"You look rough." Sin comments, stating the fucking obvious.

"Thank you?"

He chuckles as I sit on my bed and climb under the duvet, I was meant to be doing well at college but there's no way I can go to lessons with how I'm feeling.

"On a serious note, are you okay? Do you have a temperature? Do you want some, um, water?" He says, leaning over and putting his hand on my head.

His kindness almost makes me feel guilty for how rude I was last night. Almost.

"I'm fine, Sin, what are you, my mother?" I laugh, then bite my lip as the word mother is always enough to kill my mood, and I'm already in a bad one.

Sin walks over to the kitchenette and fills up a pint of water, then comes back and hands it to me.

"I can stay off English, if you want. And um, help you out. If you want."

Part of me wants to stay close, then I remember my morals.

Never let anyone too close to you.

"Oh my god, I'm fine! Just go to fucking English and stop bothering me." I put my water on the side next to my bed and crawl deeper into my duvet.

A sigh comes from Sin, then I feel his presence leave and after around ten minutes, the door slams.

I bite my lip and close my eyes, trying to sleep.