ᴛʀᴏᴜᴠᴀɪʟʟᴇ | 𝐖. 𝐌𝐀𝐗𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐅𝐅 [ ɪ ]

| ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʜᴏᴍᴇ |

cw: mentions of suicide and self harm. i'll put a bolded warning before and after the parts that talk about it.

Sage had fallen asleep as soon as Bruce had turned back into Bruce and she and Clint had brought Steve, Nat, and Thor back to safety. Her dreams were plagued with the things the Maximoff girl made her see, and all she wanted to do was wake up, but her body was too tired and she couldn't. Finally, after having to listen to her best friend and father blaming her for their deaths for far too long, she felt herself being gently shaken awake.

Slowly opening her eyes, she saw Steve leaning over her with a concerned look on his face. Steve could tell by the sweat dripping down her forehead and the way she had jolted when he woke her up that she had been having a bad dream.

"You okay? You were mumbling a lot in your sleep," he asked, trying to meet her gaze as she immediately averted it to the floor. Sage could tell by the pattern of his pulse that he was genuinely concerned, but she really didn't feel like talking about it. She never did.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine," mumbled Sage, obviously lying, but not caring enough to hide it.

"You sure? You know you can talk to me," said Steve, trying not to pry. He didn't want to force her into talking to him about something she didn't feel comfortable sharing, but he wanted her to know that she could open up to him if she wanted to.

"I know, I know, it's just..." Sage sighed, deciding that if there was anyone she would trust with this information, it would be Steve. "That day when you guys found me and I had.. you know, burnt my school to the ground... I know I joke about it a lot, kind of because that makes it sort of easier to deal with, but I hurt a lot of people that day. Hell, I even killed some. They were all kids, or teachers with families, and I just... I never meant to hurt anyone."

"Of course you didn't," Steve reassured her. Sage's expression was still guilty. "Sage, it's not your fault, you just lost your cool. It happens to the best of us," said Steve, rubbing her arm gently, hoping he wasn't overstepping.

"Yeah, but I can't afford to lose my cool," said Sage, and although her tone was sharp, her voice broke slightly. "You don't get it, when you have your moments when you can't take it anymore, you don't kill people on accident. I do. And I have. Don't you get it? I'm a threat to all of you."

"You're not a threat," said Steve earnestly. Sage scoffed. "Since we found you, nothing bad has happened. You'll get better at controlling yourself, I promise."

"No, you don't get it," Sage snapped. She didn't mean take her frustration out on Steve, but she couldn't help it. Everyone I have ever cared about is gone. I don't know what the hell happened to my mom, my dad got murdered because HYDRA was looking for me, God knows why, and Joelle-"

Steve furrowed his brows in confusion. "Who's Joelle?"

"Nothing. No one," Sage denied quickly.

"Sage, come on," urged Steve.

Sage let out a deep sigh. She had been keeping this in for so long, and maybe talking to someone about it wasn't such a bad idea. Besides, if she was going to trust anyone with this, it would be Steve.

(TW: if you don't feel comfortable with topics of suicide and self harm, skip to the next bolded warning)

So, she closed her eyes, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to say."When I moved to Louisiana with my aunt and uncle, she was my first and only friend. She had... problems. She would cut herself, and I tried so hard to try and get her to stop, to make her feel like she was enough, like she was loved, but... in the end, none of it mattered." At this point, Sage was trying her hardest to choke back tears, and her tone of voice proved that. "She killed herself, Steve," she admitted shakily.