Username: Lehar_2010
Book: Haq?
Fandom: AvNeil
Chapters read: 2
Mature: No
REVIEW
Title: 8/10
The title is really suitable. And its tone is even marvelous when asked. So, well done.
Cover: 4/10
The cover isn't depicting the much-needed information about the story. It isn't clear at first glance. Also, you can add some phases or quotes in addition to the writer's (your) name. What was fascinating was the way 'Haq?' was written.
Blurb: 3/10
The blurb had nothing regarding the story. So, as you go on with a strong theme, the blurb can be edited. You can add lines such as-
"Your husband has rights on you."
"You are just my property. Co-operate or you would regret."
Is this how the life of a girl is?
(You can start like this.)
Plot: 7/10
The plot you chose is really very much used. But, as you are trying totally new writing, you presented it beautifully. However, I would suggest, you work on a little elaboration, in the sense, try to show some more of Kajal's emotions. As you had tried to express it through Kanti, I feel it could be enhanced. And Aarav's non-presence isn't justified, so work upon it.
Character Development: 9/15
Neil- I would say that his character is beautifully portrayed. Especially, when Avni said that she had seen several shades of him but not numbness.
Avni- I feel many sides of thoughts are given to her, but she isn't getting her part of presence. So, just try to show what she thinks about Aarav and so on.
Grammar: 7/15
You have pretty fair grammar. But sometimes, you get confused with the tenses and flow of the sentence, so work on that. Mostly, you are not able to handle punctuations.
Like, "........"Kanti said.
Write it like this, "......." Kanti said.
You need to give space. Also, work upon the punctuations at other places.
Overall Opinion: 8/15
I am happy that you tried to work on this particular theme. So, my first expression would be Mind-boggling. You are taking it at a perfect stage for flow and pace, but if you are planning to end it in one chapter, it would be hurried. Just rectify grammatical errors maybe through some apps or extensions like Grammarly or you can work with docs as well.
Total: 46/90
P.S. I hope I didn't sound harsh, and I also hope it was hopeful.
❁ Thank you for believing in my review shop ❁
-Published on 12 May 2021-
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