Can i have a ride home? - Dreamnap

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//F SLUR WARNING --

seconds of agonizing silence went by, the only thing filling the gap was the slow music fading into another song. anxiety creeps up on me, is he angry? did i do something wrong? fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i??????? this is why i don't go to parties.

his lips slightly part, grabbing my jaw and pulling me to face him.

what.

"well why dont you make me then, pretty boy? hmm?"

his hands are strong and cold. lips a cherry red and the way he just.. exists. is perfect. he's  perfect. medium-length, middle-parted dirty blonde hair. soft, yet sharp eyes. perfect teeth. perfect smile. butterflies erupt in my stomach just by his smooth voice...

disgusting. that's so fucking gross. why would you think that you fucking fag. you're a disgrace. you shouldn't think about that, he's a guy. that's a sin to think that, sap. that's gross. that's disgusting.

i'm disgusting.
i'm gross.
i'm a sinner.
i'm a fucking faggot.
little fucking gay boy.
fag.

"i 'dunno man that's kinda.. gross."

he scoffs, chuckling.

"pff, okay pretty boy."

he hates me.
he hates me he hates me. i shouldn't've said that fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

i get up and refill my cup of vodka and juice. i wanna forget this. drink it all away like it never happened.

"woahh slow down there, pretty boy. wouldn't wanna overdo that shit do ya'?"

"i mean isn't that what you're supposed to do at parties and shit? drink yourself away, hook up with a random girl.. girl and then wake up on the fucking front lawn."

"yeah, yeah. still not the best for you, big guy."

"whatever."
i chug down my drink till theres only a few drops left, too sober for any of this shit yet.

"care to dance?" he looks down at me, cup in hand and grabbing my wrist. i don't even know this guys name yet, i don't even know who he actually is. why should i trust him?

despite my thoughts wandering around in my empty void of a head, i feel myself getting pulled out of the chair. before i can process what's even happening theres flashing lights and a music speaker by my ear.

nothing has even happened since my brain finally catches up yet i can't lie that i don't enjoy this. i mean fuck, what can i say, dancing's fun.

he places one hand on my shoulder and one over my hip. the music starts fading into a new song, presumably something about love.

eventually both of us start getting dizzy and feeling like we're gonna fall down. we work our way back to a chair, next to a little table filled with alcohol and food.

he sits on a white plastic lawn chair, reaching over and grabbing a bowl of crisps. he looks up at me, tapping his lap with his free hand, gesturing me to sit on his lap. i simply lean up against a wall, denying the offer.

(little A/N!)
HEYYYY so BAJSHAHS im not the best at writing and ive been looking to try and improve it !!! if you have any tips pls put it in the comments after thiz :) i temd to write a lot of emotions and stuff in a small amount of time and idk how 2 fix tgat o_o anyway!!!! hope tou guys enjoy uhhh uhh if you like this ill try 2 update more?? and uhh idk vote on this 2 b swgaggy ywahhhhh sorry for the sjprt chapters ill be tdying to write longer ones!!!!