A Fling Or The Real Thing?

Chapter 9

Hey everyone that’s reading this, I’m so glad you’re sticking with this story and I hope you’re liking it as much as I’m liking writing it.

It’s only a short chapter but I hope its ok and we get to know ‘His’ name in this chapter.

Please comment fan and vote and let me know what you think

Loads of love

leighxxx

Chapter 9

Ambers Pov

Seriously I’d never been as angry in my life, even with him I’d just been upset, heartbroken but never seething like this, even after everything he’d done. He’d ruined my life from me being fifteen and even now two years after he killed my baby and nearly killed me, two years after he was locked up he was still ruining it.

I had no idea why I was so angry, yeah what Luc had said had upset me, it had totally gutted me but it hadn’t made angry like this, no I’d done this myself working myself up more and more the further away I stormed away from him.

I knew deep down he meant well, I knew he wouldn’t really use me like he did all those other girls and I knew that he would do anything for me but to use him as an excuse not to be with me hurt, I won’t lie it more than hurt and I hadn’t let myself feel that kind of hurt in years.

Maybe that’s why I was so angry, not with Luc but with myself for putting myself in this position again, to let myself feel something only to get hurt again. The very day I realised I loved him, I actually loved my best friend more than anyone and anything in the world was the day he shot me down, hence the moral of my story, don’t fall in love, don’t open yourself up and don’t ever get close to anyone other than friends.

Lucas had always been there for me but now things weren’t right I wouldn’t be able to look at him, to speak to him without every thought and feeling towards him hitting me like a tonne of bricks. Every time I saw him speak I’d think of those luscious lips on mine or everything I saw his arms of his hands I’d picture them all over my naked body.

 Everything he would do would only serve to remind me about how much I loved him, how much I needed him and how much I could never have him. I was just not made to be happy, I was made to live in sadness, numbness as punishment for not getting out earlier, for not protecting my baby, for every thing I’d ever done or not done. I’d just taken everything he’d thrown at me I didn’t deserve any kind of happiness and the one person I wanted to give me that happiness never would. He didn’t want me, he didn’t love me like I did him, he thought of me as his best friend, the one he looked after, babied. No, no matter how much I wanted him to want me like I wanted him I doubt he would ever feel like I did and him saying that I wasn’t over Chase, well that was his way of easing me away I suppose.

Just saying his name in my head for the first time in years made me wretch I never wanted him to darken my life again but here he was doing it, well no. no more I wouldn’t let him, I wouldn’t let that man destroy any more of my life, yeah I couldn’t have the man I wanted but I wouldn’t let that stop me, I’d finish this holiday, this holiday that had been the best and worst thing that had happened to me in a long time. I’d been with Luc, realised I was head over heels in love with him and lost him before anything could even get off the ground. Then I’d go home, go to work and carry on as normal, I’d float about in my normal mundane life numb like normal but I’d show everyone I was fine. That no matter what I was fine, like I always was, even if I knew it was all a lie.

Turning slightly at the sound of Jens voice I saw her running towards me yelling for me as the sun started setting behind her, shaking my head I wondered how long I’d been away in my own head for. I had no idea but I knew it was hours judging by the red sun in setting in the sky above the calm sea gently lapping at the shore I was sat by.