TSSS 1: Dancing With Your Ghost

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

It's been 7 years since he left.

And its been 3 years since we became official.

Time.

It is something we can't control.

We can't really tell when is your time, or when is the right time. If it's the right or wrong time for two people to meet. We can't either measure the time when someone is elated, how long does they mourn, how long do they feel anger, sadness and all the feelings one can possibly feel.

But, with a trust on Him. 

Time doesn't matter.

As long as we believe, trust and of course, love.

"Ang tagal na 'no? Ano na kaya ang ginagawa mo riyan?" I asked Austin.

Of course, hindi siya makakasagot.

"Austin, I know you're happy now, you even talk to me in my dream." Mapait akong tumawa.

He showed up in my dream last night which made me burst into tears, not because of sadness, but because of happiness. 

We met at the rooftop. But the only things I see is his back. Hindi ko magawang lumapit sa kanya dahil parang may nakaharang sami'ng dalawa.

"I know you're happy now, Iona at masaya na rin ako. Sana inaalagan ka niya ng mabuti, tulad ng gusto kong gawin sana sa'yo. I'm sorry kung hindi natupad lahat ng gusto natin para sa isa't isa, in another life... I want to meet you. I want us to meet... kahit bilang magkaibigan lang. I'm sorry for leaving you, mahal kita." Those words are the words I remember the most.

Lumingon siya sa'kin pagkatapos niyang magsalita. He smiled at me which made my heart heavy. I admit that I miss his smile. His smile shows yearning. Kaya mas lalo akong naiiyak. I wanted to hug him again.

Hindi ko napigilan ang sakit sa puso nang unti-unti siyang lumapit. Finally, after years of wanting to see him again, here he is... in front of me.

His eyes. His nose. His lips. His hair. His face. Him. Nakita ko na rin.

"A-Austin..."

He smiled at me. Tumulo ng parang gripo ang mata ko. I closed my eyes and can't help but to hug him. Lumakas ang iyak ko nang maramdaman ang init ng kanyang yakap. Kahit saglit lang.

"Iona..."

Suddenly, I was welcomed by a different face.

Hawak niya ang pisngi ko at pinupunusan ang mukha. Kusa niya akong yinakap kaya mas lalo along napahagulgol.

He didn't say anything. His embrace on me tightened.

"Alam mo, may isang beses na nagkatampuhan kami ni Karter. Gusto ko sana magsubong sa'yo kaso asa'n ka ba?" Tumawa ako. Gusto sana kitang kausapin, pero asa'n ka ba?" biro ko.

"Pero huwag ka mag-alala. Inaayos namin namin ang maliit na mga away. As far as I remember, hindi kami nakapagtalo ng sobrang laki at ayoko mangyari yun. And you know what? I never expect to feel love to him!" I chcuckled. Umayos ako ng upo at tumingala sa ibabaw.

"Austin, I want to tell this to you first... Kung maaari sana, sana makadalo ka ngunit hindi ata pwede?" Bumaba ang tingin ko at tinignan ang kanyang pangalan.

"Austin, I planned on proposing to Karter..." I let the whisper for a while. 

"Yes, ako." dagdag ko.

I want Karter to feel how much I love him. I know there are times that he doubts me, especially my love, ngunit kahit gano'n ay nasa tabi ko pa rin siya. I would never get tired proving to him na siya ang mahal ko. I want him to feel the feeling of someone... someone you love is proposing to you. Ang corny man siguro sa iba o ang pangit tignan dahil ako ang babae, pero pake ba nila? This is our life, my life.