It's been a week.
She tried her best not to cross 800 calories.
Water became her best friend...
But on the last day before weigh day, she created a fat disaster.
She went with her Mum to McDonald's.
"Don't eat that!", whispered Ana fiercely.
"So what do you want to order?", asked Mum.
"Water!", said Ana persuading her.
"Caesar salad!", suggested Annie.
"No! It has dressing! Dressing has fat disgusting stuff.", warned Ana.
"Umm I'm not hungry Mum.", Vie tried.
"Uh what? Come on stop joking what do you want?", asked Mum again.
Vie bit her lip. What to do now?!
"I'll just have a cheeseburger.", Vie finally said.
Annie gasped, making it worse.
"Cheese? Burger? Fries?McDonald's???", said Ana with every word squeezing Vivienne's stomach.
Was it hunger? Was it guilt? It's just something Ana made her feel.
Yeah yesterday was horrible. Ana was really upset! She usually is so supportive...
She kinda had the right to be mad. But it's the first time she had eaten unhealthy food for a week, progress isn't it?
'No it isn't!', Ana would say. 'Those are calories for at least a week!'
But it's weigh day. Ana seems frustrated.
Vie took a deep breath and stepped on the scale.
She felt heavy doing that. She wished she could rip off her weight, and feel light for once!
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.
She glanced at the scale.
"Not bad, right?", she whispered.
"Uh-oh..", Annie said.
Ana didn't seem pleased.
"It's one pound.. Better that nothing.. Right?", said Vie trying to 'make it better'
"No", Ana said with a heavy tone that pressed hard on her heart.
"It could have been more if you didn't eat that cheeseburger.", Ana continued. "But you seem happy so whatever."
Ana walked away.
"No Ana no! Please I really hate myself for doing that! I don't know what happened I just felt hungry and.."
"Hungry is skinny. Skinny is beautiful.", Ana said.
There was silence. And then Ana left.
She'd be back. But she's angry, she's not satisfied. She tried to help her look better but Vie listened to cheeseburger.
Vie walked to the mirror. She stared. Stared for long.
"Fat", she whispered to her reflection.
"You could've ate something else, Vie..", said Annie trying to make her feel better. Or not.
"Your body can't handle these types of food. It shows up immediately..", Annie continued pointing at Vie's stomach.
Vie turned to the side and lifted her shirt up. Her stomach was there, like a ball of fat, disgusting fat.
She pinched her stomach. It feels like layers of fat.
How was she gonna get rid of all this fat.
Fat.
Fat.
Fat.
It's echoing through her head.
She thrusted her nails through her thighs. Ugly fat thighs.
"Fat", she said again.
She felt weird.
She hated what she saw.
----------------
It's lunch. But Vie didn't have anything.
She sat down silently with Ro and April.
"Why aren't you eating?" They asked.
What could she say?
"Tell them you had a huge breakfast! You'll eat a better and a healthier thing at home.", that's what Ana told her.
And that's what she said, hoping it would seem as convincing as possible.
It felt so uncomfortable. This place is so weird.
"So what are we doing for our project?", asked April.
"Look at her collarbones!", said Annie out of nowhere. "That boat neck shirt really looks good on her."
She was right.. Vie slid her hand unconsciously to her neck. She didn't have collarbones. You couldn't see them.
They were suggesting something. Vie couldn't listen really.
She was hungry.
'You're not hungry, you feel so.' Ana would say.
'Your body may only be thirsty.'
Yeah that could be it. Vivienne took out her bottle of water and had some of it.
"It's okay. You're new to the whole skinny world.", Ana smiled. "Later on your body will be satisfied with how much it actually needs."
-----------------------
Dad called.
He said he was back in town, and he wanted to see Vivienne.
It was a long time ago since she last saw him.
She started remembering things. The times she had spent with him.
She missed him. But she didn't know about seeing him.
It's not that she doesn't want to, but it felt weird.. It's been so long!
That divorce had its fingerprints on her. It happened at the time when everyone could notice how she had to make excuses on why her father can't be there, or why he didn't get her something, or why is it always her Mum who picks her up...
She couldn't explain how she didn't know where he was, or what was his job, or why she couldn't participate in family activities with the others..
She didn't know how to tell her teacher that she couldn't do her homework because her parents were fighting all day..
She couldn't tell others that she was always afraid, always felt fear chewing her stomach when she sees them in their daily battles.. And how she always felt different..
That divorce made her feel different, it made her hide, it made her learn how to bottle up...
--------------------------------
Hello everyone!
Sorry this one isn't the best.. It's just I've been feeling absolutely horrible lately.. Still am but oh well..
There it is! Hope you enjoy it =)
Thank you so much for reading, don't forget to leave me votes and comments ^_*
Much love xoxo
Sugarcoated_moon ~<3
YOU ARE READING
When the Spirits Spoke (On hold)
Random"My name is Vivienne. But you can call me Vie and well; C'est ma vie! At some point in my life I met some new friends, or at least that's who I thought they were. They pushed me too hard until I actually stood on the cliff but then.. Someone stopped...
