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Harry Potter - 2.4

"Oh my god, Draco." She gasped. "You shouldn't have."

"There's no need to thank me—-!"

"You're the best most greatest man to ever live and I love you so darn much." She said with a grin.

He matched her grin with a silly smile of his own.

"Bringing me two old corpses is so romantic." She took his hand and squeezed.

Draco sighed dreamily.

"Anything for you, dear."

Regulus's eye twitched.

The door swung open.

"Harriet I——" Sirius froze.

His eyes fell on Draco first who was closer to his goddaughter than acceptable and making stupid love eyes at her, then on the facepalming Regulus who he thought was dead, and finally on the two shrivelled corpses in the background.

Considering what he saw, and how normal it was, his reaction was so weird.

Sirius pointed at Regulus and shrieked.

With a thump, he fainted.

Regulus groaned into his hands.

::

"For the record, it was your hideous face that horrified me to the point of fainting. Not the necromancy." Sirius snarked. "Or Salazar's wrinkly arse."

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"We both know that isn't true. We basically share the same face!"

"I think Regulus is cuter." Chimed Harriet. "10/10."

Draco made a whimpering sound and stared at her.

She turned to meet his eyes.

"He is very aesthetically pleasing." She explained matter-of-factly and pointed at a mortified Regulus. "Look at those cheekbones, then observe the symmetry of his fa—-!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU REGULUS!" Sirius screamed and lunged at Regulus's throat.

"I'm already dead you idi——!"

Draco stared at her with dead eyes and tilted his head to avoid a rogue stupefy.

"W-what about my cheekbones? And did you just have impure thoughts about another man in front of me?"

"No." She told him, dead serious. "My Tobi-kun is the most attractive, smexy, adorable being in the entire multiverse. All other beings pale in comparison. He might have killer cheekbones but you are The Golden Ratio of all Golden Ratios."

There was a crash and a yelp from Sirius.

She paused thoughtfully.

"And you also have a very cute butt."

"Thank you." Said Draco, satisfied.

She smiled.

He glanced at her butt.

"You have a very nice butt too." He observed.

"Are you even hearing them?!" Regulus screamed at Sirius who was now a big black dog clawing at his face. "He just made a pass at her arse!"

Sirius froze, and very carefully turned to Draco.

Harriet stepped between them with a smile.

"No." She told Sirius who shifted back into his human form.