TWISTED ꜜ LOUIS PARTRIDGE

⟾ 22 | DON'T

LOUIS🗡

Wednesday, 7:23am

_

FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS, Ash and I have been avoiding each other.

I'd call it insufferable, but she's always been this way, and I wasn't really expecting her to change just because I professed my 'undying love' for her last night. I still can't believe I let those words leave my mouth without so much of a thought.

She'd wait till I was out of the kitchen before she went in, and I waited till she was out of the living room before I went in. It was a mutual avoidance. We only spoke when we needed to consult something regarding the plan, but that was it.

Speaking of the plan, it was moderately finished by now. I can't tell you it, because I don't trust you not to reveal our secrets, so you'll just have to let it play out—for better or for worse. I don't know if it'll work or not, but I'm hoping.

I'd been awake since four in the morning, anxiously awaiting the day we had planned out before us. We had a mission to accomplish, but it was hard to do with this feud happening between us.

Yet I couldn't hate her for it.

Last night I couldn't sleep, watching the moon stream through the windows of the living room, bathing me in pure thought as I lay tired on the couch. I couldn't hate her. I couldn't even despise her, because I remembered turning my head to see the tattoo inked onto my wrist and feeling complete understanding.

A marking that chained me to her.

The only difference was that I chose to give my heart to her, when she was given that tattoo without a say in it. I wanted to make it better for her. I wanted to show her that she didn't have to live without love, but it backfired, because she'd spent her whole life learning how to survive alone.

It would be foolish to think she could throw away her past just because I wanted her to.

But I couldn't wait for her.

She chose her position, and who was I to pretend her refusal meant nothing? She didn't want me. I just had to learn to accept that, and while this tattoo may seem like a painful reminder, I won't regret it. It gave her happiness at one point, and that's good enough.

"Ash," I whispered under my breath, watching as the sun rose from behind the London skyline, "Ash, Ash, Ash..."

Oh, how she burned me.

Her name kept playing on repeat in my mind, even as the city began to awake from its slumber. Ash, it said, even as I watched her make herself breakfast in the kitchen. Ash, it said, even as she wrangled with her hair to make it stay into its ponytail.

When it refused to budge, I gathered my pride, stalking towards the bathroom mirror and plucking a hair-tie from the counter.

"Let me," I said, gesturing to her hair, "it'll be easier."

She glanced away. "Go ahead."

It was painfully silent as I looped the rubber-band over itself, securing the unruly locks of her hair into place. She didn't even dare to meet my gaze in the reflection. Her eyes were stuck onto the marble counter-top, cold and emotionless like she didn't know me at all.

I had barely even let my hands fall back to my sides, before she was already bolting away from me, gathering her shoes and leather jacket into her possession. I stood there awkwardly, not sure what I should say.

"We should go," she said curtly, voice absent of feeling, "the longer we stay, the more time we lose."

I nodded my head, following her towards the door and into the hallway of the cheap apartment we had rented. We didn't exchange a word, even as we strode onto the waking streets of London, slipping through the crowd of people going about their lives.